Tag: life

Love yourself – but don’t use it as an excuse to not get better

One thing that I both agree and disagree with is how society tells you to accept yourself as you are.

You should accept yourself. You should love yourself. But loving yourself, to me anyways, means to try to improve every day. Loving yourself will sometimes require you to do things you don’t want. You need to have the discipline to force yourself to do things that you don’t always feel like doing, but know they will help you in the long run. Sure, you can take time to enjoy things and to splurge every now and then, but don’t mask happiness with pleasure.

Your best life will involve you overcoming obstacles, learning, and growing. But if you use the excuse to “love yourself as you are” as a means of telling yourself that you don’t need to get better, you are doing yourself a disservice.

Recognize where you are in your journey and don’t beat yourself up for where you are compared to where you want to be or where others are. And don’t let that stop you from trying to get better.

If you are 100 pounds overweight, have diabetes, need to be on all sorts of medications, etc., you can and should still love yourself. But the best way to love yourself is to try to improve your diet and exercise regimen, to improve your mindset, etc. Don’t beat yourself up if or when you miss a day, but don’t use the excuse that you love yourself as you are to continue your lifestyle and slowly kill yourself by doing so.

Pause before acting (when you’re afraid)

Whenever you are afraid, try to take a step back before making a decision. Before you decide to act or not act, try to remove yourself from the situation. If a friend came to you with a problem asking for your advice, what would you tell them?

Do not make your decision based on the fears that you have. Make your decision based on what you feel is right. What would you be proud of either doing or saying in that moment.

Would you be embarrassed to tell your parents, siblings, friends, significant other, or children about how you acted or reacted in that moment. If you are embarrassed of it, why? Is it because you did not act with courage? Is it because you acted in a way that didn’t align with your values?

Never act or react solely out of fear.

Do you live by a code?

What is your default life code? If you could have a list to share with your children about how you want them to act, or how you should be acting for them to see, what would it be? Some of the things I want my kids to see from me are the following…

Always try your best, but have fun doing it.

Be respectful and kind.

Be humble in winning and in defeat. Act like you’ve been there before.

Hold yourself to high standards, but don’t judge others if they don’t do the same.

Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

Be optimistic, but realistic.

Don’t worry, be happy. Life is good.

What are you working for?

Be aware of how much money you need to live the kind of life you want.

Do you have enough money to pay for healthy food, pay your mortgage payment, pay your utilities (water, gas, electric), pay for your vehicle upkeep (gas, tires, oil changes, etc), and pay for some niceties? Do you have enough money to add to your 6-month emergency fund and to go towards investing in your future?

Don’t get caught up trying to keep up with the Joneses. Don’t get caught with lifestyle creep. Don’t get caught buying things that bring you no value – no happiness, no enjoyment, that hinder your health, etc.

But also, if you’re not a “spender,” don’t always get caught up in trying to accumulate “more.” It’s talked about less frequently because less people have this issue. But why are you always chasing money? When will enough be enough (especially if you never spend it or use it)?

Money is a tool. We can use it to improve our lives. But it shouldn’t be our main focus. Work so that you can live. Don’t live so you can work…there is more to life than just working. Don’t miss out on all that the world has to offer.

Facing your fears – incrementally vs all at once

The way I see it, there are two ways to successfully face your fears. You can gradually/incrementally introduce yourself to your fears (taking baby steps – learning more about it first, then being around it, then facing it in an unimportant situation, then facing it more regularly) OR you can dive right in and surround yourself with them. The best approach depends on how devastating the outcome could be and what your mindset is.

If there are irreversible repercussions to you failing, then you should take the gradual approach. Read about what you are going to face, talk with other people who have conquered that fear, listen to books/podcasts/YouTube videos, etc. Then just go and be around whatever you have to face. You don’t need to face it yet, but the nearer you are, the more acclimated you’ll get. Start by going once per week then increase the frequency. As you become more familiar with the event, your fear levels will likely go down.

If the stakes are low if you fail/mess up, it’s probably best to just jump right in and learn on the fly. Learning is often done best by experiencing. Then you can still read, listen, talk with others, and watch others to learn more, but now you’ll have a better understanding of what they’re going through (because you’ve already been through a similar situation). You will speed up your learning curve by doing. Just make sure you have a growth mindset going into the event. You may not be good at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish/conquer yet, but with enough practice you can/will get better.