Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
“A fool thinks himself to be wise, yet a wise man knows he is a fool.”
Smart people ask great questions, they don’t pretend to have all the answers. You have to be willing to listen and to be open to the possibility that you’re wrong in order to understand more. Learn when to talk and when to listen…
Learn to listen. You can’t listen if you’re talking at the same time as the person who you’re supposedly conversing with. You can’t listen if you’re only thinking about what you’re going to say next. For conversation to be meaningful, you need to talk and listen.
Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages) writes that “Listening begins with attitude. If I choose to believe every person I encounter has inherent dignity and value, meaning their thoughts and feelings are important, then I am prepared to listen. If I think the world revolves around me, that my ideas are all that counts, then why should I listen to anyone else? Many people don’t have a communication problem; they have an attitude problem.”
We can all work on improving our attitude! Part of having a good attitude includes being generous (not just with money, but also your time), being optimistic (yet realistic), and loving/caring for others.
“In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
If you want to have less conflict, don’t go looking for it. Choose not to be offended and you won’t be. Stop trying to listen for things you don’t want to hear. If you’re on edge (in marriage and in life), and looking for things to be upset about, you can always find them. Let the little things go. Forgive more. Nobody is perfect – including you. So get off your high horse and accept your significant other as they are.
Sales scripts don’t work because they are too structured, and the customer does not feel listened to. It’s best to let a natural conversation flow while still getting the information you need from the customer, rather than sounding robotic and reading off a list of questions or looking at a scripted “conversation.”
You should have certain questions you want answered so you can determine how to best help the customer, if you’re a good fit for them (and if they’re a good fit for you), etc. But really, you should be listening and responding authentically to establish the best rapport with the customer.
Understand when you’re supposed to be the guide/advisor and when you’re supposed to be someone going along for the ride.
If it’s the former, you need to take charge. Provide more input and make suggestions as the guide. You still don’t want to do everything for the other person (they want to be the hero of their own story), but with your help, they can get where they want to go.
If you’re just tagging along, read the situation and minimize your input. Here, the other person wants to be the primary decision-maker. Be there to support them and to listen to them, but don’t try to be the white knight and solve all of their problems. They want to feel listened to.