“In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
If you want to have less conflict, don’t go looking for it. Choose not to be offended and you won’t be. Stop trying to listen for things you don’t want to hear. If you’re on edge (in marriage and in life), and looking for things to be upset about, you can always find them. Let the little things go. Forgive more. Nobody is perfect – including you. So get off your high horse and accept your significant other as they are.
Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.
People will always want to talk about themselves, to boast about what they’ve done, to insert their opinion into the conversation. This is considered normal. But we should strive to be different. Different stands out. Different makes people notice, even if they’re not sure why.
Instead of talking about your accomplishments, lift others up. Instead of gossiping, speak only truths about situations and only say something about a person if you’ve already said it to them personally. Instead of complaining, be positive. See the glass half full – being realistic, but optimistic.
When others are talking, listen. Look them in the eyes. Ask interesting questions (showing your interest), add verbal and nonverbal cues to urge them to continue talking. Be excited and add to the conversation when it’s appropriate. Don’t interrupt them, or if you do, do it sparingly and only to show your excitement matches theirs.
Don’t dominate conversations. The other person/people should walk away not feeling like they were spoken down to or talked at, but like they had a genuine conversation and contributed to it.
