love

On trying new things…

If there is something that you heard about, but don’t know what it is, look it up.

If there is a vegetable that you’ve seen but never tried, buy it and look up a recipe on how to cook it.

If a friend asks you to go to some new place/event and you’ve never experienced anything like it before, go for it.

Do not be afraid of trying new things. Most of the time, the economic cost is minimal. But to live a life to the fullest by experiencing as much of what it has to offer as possible? That’s invaluable.

Listen

Learn to listen. You can’t listen if you’re talking at the same time as the person who you’re supposedly conversing with. You can’t listen if you’re only thinking about what you’re going to say next. For conversation to be meaningful, you need to talk and listen.

Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages) writes that “Listening begins with attitude. If I choose to believe every person I encounter has inherent dignity and value, meaning their thoughts and feelings are important, then I am prepared to listen. If I think the world revolves around me, that my ideas are all that counts, then why should I listen to anyone else? Many people don’t have a communication problem; they have an attitude problem.”

We can all work on improving our attitude! Part of having a good attitude includes being generous (not just with money, but also your time), being optimistic (yet realistic), and loving/caring for others.

“One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother,” Howard Hunter said.

It only takes a moment to do, but your kids will remember your words long after you say them and your actions after you do them. It will impart on them how to treat their future spouses.

Do you want your kids to be loving, generous, and grateful? Make sure you try to display that with your actions daily. If you diminish what your spouse says or does, if you treat them poorly or with indifference, or if you don’t show them respect, your kids can pick that up and do the same.

What is your definition of success?

Everyone has their own definition of success. Even if they don’t have it written down (most don’t, including myself) or it’s not the same definition every time they think of it, when they hear the word success or successful, they have an idea of what it looks like to them at that moment. And it’s different for everyone because we all have different goals in life. For example, if somebody doesn’t want to have children, being a great mother or father would not be a picture of success for them. Some people don’t want to work long hours (or any hours for that matter), so working their way up the corporate ladder would not be there idea of success. Nobody is right or wrong in the situation, it just depends on how you define success.

My current “definition” is that to be truly successful, you need to be able to succeed in many different types of environments. I want to accomplish great things like spending quality time with my family and friends, working towards good physical, mental, and financial health, building a career I can be proud of, taking time for hobbies and games that excite me, etc. I don’t want to be so lopsided that my success in one aspect of life gets in the way of my success in any of the other areas. I want to be complete, well-rounded, and above average in everything I do. Naturally, I will fall short in some areas at some time periods of my life, but if I can get up every time I fall down and keep going, I’ll be satisfied.

What is your definition of success?

Remember what you’re working for

For the high achievers out there, remember what you’re working for. Some people refer to this as finding your “why.” Why are you working so hard? What is it that you really want?

Sure, you may like what you do, you may find enjoyment getting recognition or accolades from your employer, or you want to be seen as successful in the eyes of your peers/family members, but is that in alignment with what you actually want?

I’ve been working hard for a long time. I worked in high school, worked my way through college, and upon graduating I worked multiple jobs and many hours of overtime to pay off any student loans I had, pay off cars, a mortgage, etc. But after having kids, I had to re-prioritize my life goals. Did I still want to earn financial freedom? Absolutely. But I need to do it in a more sustainable way so I can see my family. Working 60-70 hour work weeks will help me earn income, but at what expense?

The questions I had to ask myself were:

1) What am I working so hard for? What is my new why? The answer to this, I think, is to create the best life possible for my family. That doesn’t necessarily mean to have or to make the most money though. Instead, I think it’s to raise respectful children with good work ethics who are happy with life…and me NOT being around just so I can earn more money or do something I’m “passionate” about is actually a very selfish thing to do.

2) Instead of racing the the financial freedom finish line, am I willing to maybe work a few more years to have a better quality of life (more free time to spend with my family, friends, and hobbies)? The answer to this is yes. What’s the point in rushing to retirement when you might lose your family (say, if you get divorced as a result of never spending time with your spouse), you lose your health (because you’re “too busy” to work out), lose your friends (because you never hang out with them anymore), and have no hobbies (are you just going to sit at home and watch tv all day)?? That life would be so unfulfilling to me.

So, as I conclude, I just want to say that everyone is different. We feel different things, have different goals, and are in different stages of life. Our life experiences are different. Our expectations are different. There is no right or wrong when it comes to why you’re working as hard as you are. But the key thing is to think about what you’re working for and adjust your time accordingly.