Tag: love

Love, respect, and forgiveness

Remember to treat yourself and others with love, respect, and forgiveness every single day.

When you start with love, you will always want the best for yourself and for others. You’ll try to help them as much as you can. But help doesn’t mean giving them handouts and spoon feeding them. There needs to be a healthy balance between short-term help and long-term help. Always “helping” someone get what they want, for example, may not be helping them in the long run. Making sure nobody ever feels struggle is not helping them. It’s weakening them, giving them less ability to overcome adversity, and giving them less resolve. The best help is by teaching them how to get what they want, not having you go out and getting them whatever they want.

Next, you need to treat yourself and others with respect. The moment you start disrespecting others is the moment that you begin to lose credibility for yourself. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Don’t talk down to others, don’t berate them, but also don’t treat them with pity. If you see someone who needs your help, try to walk alongside them. You may think that the other person can’t do anything for you, but you never know how your actions can affect them, where they’ll end up, or what connections they might have as well. Don’t forget you must also respect yourself. That means setting boundaries with people or saying no sometimes. You need to respect yourself enough to not let yourself be walked all over by others.

Lastly, you need to practice forgiveness with yourself and others. You don’t have to forget how you made a mistake or how others might have wronged you. But you should forgive them. Everyone makes mistakes, yourself included. Try to learn from them and move on. Make sure you don’t hold grudges or else you will live a long, miserable life.

Receiving feedback

Hearing feedback can be really tough. Oftentimes, it can take us by surprise and we get defensive about it. But we need feedback to grow. Usually, there is at least a kernel of truth in what the other person is telling us. Instead of automatically justifying why you did/said what you did, just listen. Refrain from responding until the person is done talking. But don’t do one of those, “mhmm…ok…” almost like a “hurry-up and get it over with” verbal prodding. Stay open (watch out for negative body language). Then, after the sting of hearing what you need to hear, repeat back to them (or rephrase what you heard). If you and that person are on the same page, that’s probably a good thing. Finally, take their feedback and use it to make you a better person. Even if you don’t fully agree with what they’ve said, try to make small tweaks or improvements. None of us are perfect, so we at least know that we can slightly improve.

Brene Brown’s 3 key phrases to remember when receiving feedback…

⁃ “I’m brave enough to listen.”

⁃ “There’s something valuable here. Take what works and leave the rest.”

⁃ “Feedback is the path to mastery.”

Lifestyle creep, material possessions, and happiness

“People who live far below their means enjoy a freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles can’t fathom.” – Naval Ravikandt

Don’t fall victim to lifestyle creep. If you were happy living on “X” salary per year, as you make more money, you can still be happy living on that same salary. Buying more expensive things doesn’t make you happier, not in the long run. But sharing meaningful experiences with people you care about will bring you lasting happiness. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state on the map. If you’re not happy where you are, moving will not make it better. You must change your mindset to change your life. Choose to be happy. Life is too short to choose anything else.

4 requirements to have a great relationship with your significant other

1. Show them that you want to be with them. Be interested in their stories. Pay them sincere compliments. Make them feel good about themselves and make them feel desired. Ask yourself, are most of your interactions with them positive, negative, or neutral (the silent killer)?

2. Show them appreciation. When they help you, make sure you point out the specifics about how their actions have made your life easier or improved your life in some way. Never forget to thank them and do not take their helpfulness or thoughtfulness for granted. Ask yourself, when was the last time you thanked them for doing something “expected?” Do you still thank them for picking up the groceries, folding the laundry, or taking out the trash? Yes, those things need to be done. But maybe you should be the one to do those things (or, at the very least, say thank you when they get done).

3. Show them respect. Never get into a name-calling argument. Even if you disagree with their opinion or action, approach them with respect. Don’t roll your eyes, make snarky remarks, or make audible sounds (like sighing) to express your disapproval. Avoid being passive aggressive and instead be respectfully upfront with them. Have you noticed yourself doing any of these things? Stop it. And if you do catch yourself doing it, apologize right then and there.

4. Show them love. You can want to hang out with someone, but not love them. You can appreciate what they do for you, but not love them. You can respect someone, but not love them. Even though your significant other should be a treasured friend, don’t lump them into the “friend zone” with everyone else. Show them love and speak their love language. When was the last time you showed your significant other affection? When was the last time you hugged them, kissed them, or…(you get it)? Maybe their love language isn’t physical touch. You could try other things like getting them a gift “just because” or writing them a note each morning. Try different things, but always show your love for them and your relationship stands a good chance of not only surviving, but thriving.