Tag: love

On happiness, gratitude, and perspective

Your worst day is NOT that bad. Keep that in mind whenever you feel down.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. It’s a new opportunity to do what you were supposed to do, to act how you want to act, to say what you need to say.

You have been blessed with so much in this life. Do not take it for granted. After you take a few deep breaths, reflect on what you are grateful for. Pray, if that’s what you’re into. Or meditate if you prefer. Regardless, the better you are able to frame your life/keep things in the proper perspective, the happier you’ll be.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.
“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” — Robert J. Sawyer

Admit it, sometimes you get worked up over things that actually don’t matter. You get mad at the driver who was texting instead of paying attention that the light turned green a full TWO seconds ago! Or that someone performed a task that was not up to your standards. Or that maybe you didn’t live up to to someone else’s standards…

Regardless of the scenario, I think we tend to make things out to be bigger than they actually are. That’s society today. Even the news, which people used to turn to for “unbiased” facts have become opinion shows that catastrophize every little story to make it more exciting or to make it seem like the sky is falling. That’s how they get more views, better ratings, and more advertisement dollars, after all.

But what if we decided to take a different approach. Instead of paying attention to the trivial stuff – the stuff that doesn’t matter – what if we just left it alone? If we learn to either ignore those things altogether OR we reframe them and see them for what they actually are (non-important events that won’t affect our lives), we will find much more inner peace.

Follow this simple rule…if you won’t remember this specific event in five years, don’t waste five minutes of your time thinking about it. In the grand scheme of life, we need to focus on what is essential to us. What brings us the most joy? Who matters most in our lives? Spend time doing those things and being with those people. Don’t waste your time getting into social media arguments. Let the little things go.

Be judicious with your words

You can always say something that you haven’t said. But you can never undo or unsay something that you have already said.

Be careful with your words. Be thoughtful, kind, and uplifting. It may feel good to say what’s on your mind, but it could be potentially damaging to your long-term relationships. Learn to bite your tongue and tactfully say what you need to say, when you need to say it.

This is not to say you can’t thoughtfully critique anyone (especially those you care for). If you don’t speak up, how can they make a change? But don’t say something in the heat of the moment, or else you may regret how it comes out – and what is said cannot be unsaid.

Attributes

Below is a list of attributes I want for myself and to instill in my children:

Perseverance, optimistic, not easily discouraged/embarrassed, not afraid of failing, mentally and physically tough, setting a goal and working towards it, ok with asking questions, hungry to learn, love competition, focused on the most important next action steps, forward thinking, not procrastinating, curious, willing and able to give effort every day, love and enthusiasm for life, understand big picture concepts, think outside the box, grateful, happy, kind to others

And this is a list I want to avoid:

Complainer, negative, judgmental, rude, entitled, lazy, can’t think for yourself, not willing to try/learn new things

I’m sure there are more items I can add to both lists, but this is the general gist of what I strive for everyday. The other key is to surround yourself with people who share similar values. You become the average of the people you hang out with most. Don’t let it be someone who only brings negative drama to your life.

Compassion vs. coddling

Understand the difference between compassion and coddling. You can be compassionate but still stern. You don’t have to be rude, but you do have to tell the truth…even when it’s easier to tell a “white lie.” Being truthful is compassionate – telling someone what they need to hear even if they don’t want to hear it. Some people say it’s tough love, but really, it’s just love.