“The most that I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.” – Henry David Thoreau
You have no obligations to do x, y, or z to be considered a good friend. And your friend, if they are truly your friend, should not place unrealistic expectations on you, make you fulfill certain requirements, or check certain boxes to be considered a friend. Work on being supportive, on checking in with them on occasion, and on being happy for them if they are happy or helping them when they need help. It’s that simple.
For someone to know you and love you is more impressive than getting the admiration of those who only know your public persona. Anyone can put on a show in public, being on their best behavior, and most people do. So when you to let someone into your life and they see the real you, with all of your imperfections, and still love you? That’s what really matters.
Don’t worry about popularity or fame (which are always fleeting), just treat people well and try to do the right thing as much as you can. By doing this, you can help win the love and respect from those who truly matter.
Being a parent of young children, I finally understand why you have those overbearing, overprotective parents. As a parent, you never want to see your child hurting – whether physically or emotionally. But we have to accept that pain is part of life and we cannot (and should not) try to shield them from everything.
We want to protect our children, but the irony is that the best thing we can do is let them experience hardship. If you don’t let them experience any pain, they won’t be able to cope with facing more difficult circumstances.
One of the best feelings a person can have is overcoming adversity. Facing a stacked deck and still winning. Why would you want to take that away from them? There is no thrill in victory without the possibility of defeat. If you know that you can’t lose, what’s the point of playing the game? It becomes boring. The same goes for your children…
If you have children, let them struggle. Part of experiencing the highs in life is also knowing about the lows. Don’t jump in to try to save them from being able to know and understand both. Helping them right now can actually be hurting them in the future. But it’s important to start small and to start young. The more quickly they are able to stumble and fall, yet get back up, the better off they’ll be in the long run.
“But to you who are listening I say: ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…Do to others as you would have them do to you.’” Luke 6: 27-31
This is The Golden Rule, taken straight out of the Bible. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Treat others the way you want to be treated. And in today’s world, where everything is politicized and people who have opposite opinions than you are considered “evil,” the best thing we can do for each other is to treat others how we would want to be treated – with kindness, compassion, and understanding.
It’s ok if someone believes something different than you. And instead of trying to shut down anyone who has ever made a mistake (which is everyone, including you), try forgiving them. It’s time to stop being deliberately disrespectful to others (we see this online the most, where everyone is a “tough guy”). Maybe try showing a little compassion for a change? Instead of refusing to listen to different viewpoints, try listening to opposing thoughts – actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to yell at them for not thinking the same way you do.
If you can be more kind, compassionate, and generous, all without the expectation of anything in return, the world will be a better place for it.
“Love implies anger. The man who is angered by nothing cares about nothing.” – Edward Abbey
There are two things I would make note of when reading this quote…
First, I would expand the quote to say that love not only implies anger, but sadness as well. If you lose something you love, even if only temporarily, there are a range of emotions you could feel, including anger or sadness. Feeling passionately means you care deeply. The opposite of happiness is neither anger nor sadness – it’s apathy. It’s not feeling anything at all.
The second thing I think of when I see this quote is I hope people don’t use it as an excuse to be angry. I could see someone saying they’re only angry because they care – justifying their improper actions. While they may love you or care about you, they might just be getting angry because they are possessive, controlling, or mean-spirited. Or, they may care, but it’s caring less about another person and more about their reputation. They wouldn’t say it out loud, but deep down they’re getting angry because they care more about themselves than anyone else, and what you’re doing is hurting their status/ego.
One final note relating to this topic…
When you love someone or something deeply, you’re bound to get into disagreements or feel disappointment occasionally. How you express yourself when you feel that way will make a world of difference in how healthy your relationships are though. Don’t lash out at them. Don’t act like a child who doesn’t get his way. Treat them with the love and respect they deserve and try to talk through your feelings. It’s not healthy to erupt with anger, but it’s not healthy to bottle up your emotions either. Remember how lucky you are when you feel these negative emotions. Feeling strongly just means you’ve been fortunate enough to care deeply about something/someone. As Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
