Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
If someone knows how to push your buttons, to get you worked up and out of sorts just by something little that they say or do, they can easily manipulate you. The less reactive you can be, the more power you can have. If you take a moment to pause, you can choose your response – to let things go, to address them calmly and respectfully, or to be stern and forceful. But the key here is you are making the decision on how to respond. That is strength. Reaction to an event is not.
Taking action will help increase your competence, which will give you more confidence. The more confident you are, the more likely others will be drawn to you, increasing your likelihood of success.
If you want to be successful in anything, it all starts with taking action. Whatever you are afraid of, that’s probably what you need to do. Charge towards your fears or what is difficult for you. Chances are, it’s difficult for others as well, and when you’re willing to do what others aren’t, you’ll see results that they won’t get. Take action. Ryan Holiday paraphrases a famous Marcus Aurelius quote (shown below) with the title of his best-selling book, “The obstacle is the way.”
If you’re afraid of prospecting for new clients, that’s probably because you are uncomfortable doing it and you need to do it. You have to take action to actually get better at it. The more you practice something, the more competent you’ll become, and the more competent you become, the more confidence you will earn.
It will be difficult to make the decision to deliberately put yourself in a position where you might fail, but you must do this. It is the only way to get better quickly. You can read or talk with others who have done it before you all you want, but eventually YOU need to take action. The sooner you realize this and start doing it, the quicker you can achieve your dreams.
“The reason his fights look so easy is because his training was so hard.” – Paraphrased from Joe Rogan when he was talking about Floyd Mayweather.
Train to make the uncomfortable not phase you. If that is your baseline and you’re used to facing obstacles, it will become your new normal. But to someone who hasn’t faced those same difficulties, when they suddenly are thrown into a tough situation, it will be harder for them mentally, physically, and emotionally.
How do you get comfortable with the uncomfortable?
A huge part of it is mental fitness. Mental fitness is more than just being mentally tough. Being tough (or being able to endure) is just one aspect of your mental fitness, but being able to understand concepts, to think outside of the box, to have a good memory. and to be flexible in a changing environment all contribute to being mentally fit.
The other part (the “easier” part) is physical fitness. Again, you want to be physically tough and able to hold up to pressure, but physics fitness also includes strength, endurance, flexibility, mobility, balance, coordination, having a healthy heart and joints, etc.
If you are mentally and physically fit, it will be easier to overcome challenging situations. So what are some things you can do to become fit?
Train your body consistently to lift heavy weights for low reps, to lift light weights for high reps, to sprint short distances at fast speeds, to walk/run/bike long distances at slow speeds, to occasionally work with very little sleep, to occasionally work with very little to eat, to think fast and make quick decisions, to analyze and think slowly, to deal with the heat, to deal with the cold, to read/write/draw, etc. These are just a few examples…
There are so many ways you can train your body and mind at the same time. Do a difficult task daily, one that pushes your existing comfort levels, because the more difficult you make your training, the easier your life will be. If your training is harder than the actual event, you’ll remain strong physically and, more importantly, you’ll remain strong mentally and emotionally. This will give you the edge you need over your competition.
Pain is subjective – it changes based on the perspective of who is going through the experience. Running a mile at a sub 6-minute clip is easy for those who do it consistently, but for the untrained person, this will probably be very painful. What will you do today to increase your fitness and increase your pain threshold?
You know what you should do, so go do it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like it. If it’s the right thing to do and it needs to be done, don’t waste anymore time procrastinating. It may be easier to skip that workout, to eat fast food, to go on a spending spree, or to not speak up against injustice, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to not do what you feel is right. Or, maybe you do what is needed, but you only do the bare minimum. Be careful of this. How you do anything is how you do everything. If you start looking for shortcuts, eventually that will be your default behavior.
That being said, that’s what YOU should do. That doesn’t mean that you should hold others to the same standards. Don’t mistake this for letting them off the hook and letting them get away with things that are dangerous, amoral, or illegal. They shouldn’t take advantage of people and still need to be called out (or stopped) when they’re doing something egregious. But for the little things that don’t really matter? Skip the criticism.
Others may do things differently than you – in a way that appears to be less effective and less efficient – but at least they’re doing it. If they ask for advice or for help, then offer it. But don’t do it before then. And don’t judge them for not doing something like you would. After all, those are your standards, not theirs. Be tolerant of their decisions, but strict with your own. If you feel your way of doing things is the “best way” to currently do them, don’t lower your standards just to make things easier for yourself.