Tag: mindset

Pause before acting (when you’re afraid)

Whenever you are afraid, try to take a step back before making a decision. Before you decide to act or not act, try to remove yourself from the situation. If a friend came to you with a problem asking for your advice, what would you tell them?

Do not make your decision based on the fears that you have. Make your decision based on what you feel is right. What would you be proud of either doing or saying in that moment.

Would you be embarrassed to tell your parents, siblings, friends, significant other, or children about how you acted or reacted in that moment. If you are embarrassed of it, why? Is it because you did not act with courage? Is it because you acted in a way that didn’t align with your values?

Never act or react solely out of fear.

What you can’t do if you fail

Never fail due to a lack of effort. Go down swinging. If you’re not skilled enough to do something or if you’re not smart enough to grasp it, that’s a capacity issue that can be addressed. With the right coaching, determination, and attitude, you can improve on those things. But effort requires no skill, no intelligence. You either give it your all or you don’t. And if you’re not trying, you deserve to lose.

Facing your fears – incrementally vs all at once

The way I see it, there are two ways to successfully face your fears. You can gradually/incrementally introduce yourself to your fears (taking baby steps – learning more about it first, then being around it, then facing it in an unimportant situation, then facing it more regularly) OR you can dive right in and surround yourself with them. The best approach depends on how devastating the outcome could be and what your mindset is.

If there are irreversible repercussions to you failing, then you should take the gradual approach. Read about what you are going to face, talk with other people who have conquered that fear, listen to books/podcasts/YouTube videos, etc. Then just go and be around whatever you have to face. You don’t need to face it yet, but the nearer you are, the more acclimated you’ll get. Start by going once per week then increase the frequency. As you become more familiar with the event, your fear levels will likely go down.

If the stakes are low if you fail/mess up, it’s probably best to just jump right in and learn on the fly. Learning is often done best by experiencing. Then you can still read, listen, talk with others, and watch others to learn more, but now you’ll have a better understanding of what they’re going through (because you’ve already been through a similar situation). You will speed up your learning curve by doing. Just make sure you have a growth mindset going into the event. You may not be good at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish/conquer yet, but with enough practice you can/will get better.

The difference between good and great

The difference between good and great for most people is not talent or ability – it’s discipline.

Can you find the discipline to do what you don’t want to do, even though you know you need to do it? And the trick is, you can’t just do it once. You have to develop the habit to consistently do what you need to do and to make progress everyday.

Getting even 1% better everyday should be our goal. If we stay in our comfort zone, we will plateau early. But if we keep pushing the limits every day, in 10 years you will be amazed by how far you’ve come.

On competition and motivation

I hear people say all the time that you only should focus on “running your own race” and not worry about what anyone else is doing. I agree that you need to turn your attention inward to be happiest with your effort (and, if applied correctly, with your results).

BUT we’re human and most people thrive on competition among other similarly-skilled individuals. If you’re working out with someone or next to someone, you’re much more likely to push yourself a little more to keep up with or to beat that person.

Having intrinsic motivation will lead to better consistency (like getting out of bed and going to the gym when you don’t feel like it). External motivation will lead to better results (once you’ve gotten to the gym). So while you shouldn’t rely on always needing to have external motivation, it’s a nice way to enhance your results.