Tag: mindset

Phrases to cut out of your life

1) “You always/you never”…Usually, when we use this phrase, we’re blaming someone for something. You always do this thing wrong. You never do this thing right…when in reality, that’s just not true. They may do something that irritates you, but you need to do a better job of explaining to them why it upsets you. If they don’t change (and even if they do, they’ll still likely forget from time to time), do your best to let it go. You’ve said your piece. You can’t force someone to do something.

2) “Why do you/why are you”…I’m only referring to using this in an accusatory tone of voice. “Why are you ___?” instantly puts whomever you’re questioning in a defensive position (much like the “you always/never phrase above). Instead, try to ask them how they’re feeling, if anything is wrong, what their thought process was that caused them to feel/act that way, etc.

3) “I have to”…You technically don’t have to do anything. You get to do that thing. Work on being more grateful for the opportunity to do it. You get to go to work today – to earn a living, to accomplish a task, to pay for food/water/shelter, etc. Change your attitude.

4) “I can’t”…Your mind is a powerful thing. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll believe it. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So while you may be unable to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always be able to not do it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask yourself “how can I?”

5) “That’s impossible”…See the paragraph above for “I can’t.” There are some things that don’t seem possible, but if someone else has achieved it, you already know that it is possible. Plus, how many times has the human race done something that most people thought was impossible (like sailing around the world, flying in an airplane, going to space, etc)?

6) “You make me”…Once again, this is a very accusatory statement and will likely escalate the argument rather than diffuse it. But you should also remember that you have to take responsibility for how you feel. If someone “makes you mad,” do you not have any control over your own emotions? If not, you can be easily manipulated by anyone who knows how to push your buttons. Change your attitude/perspective.

How to succeed when dreaming BIG

Anything is possible. You just have to set your mind to it and avoid distractions. What is the most important thing that I need to accomplish today? What actions do I need to take to accomplish that? What resources do I need to accomplish that? If I’m unable to accomplish it on my own, who do I need to connect with to help?

Once you figure all of those questions out, go out and do the one thing. But don’t get complacent afterwards…instead, figure out what the next most important thing for you to do is and start the process all over again.

The universe rewards action. It’s not what you know, it’s what you do. Who cares if you have the knowledge but don’t do anything with it?

Dream big. Don’t dream for just an above average or realistic goal. What would your best life look like? Why not try to accomplish that instead?

Telling the truth

One rule that I live by is to tell the truth as often as possible. I’ve told the truth even when it was in my best interest not to. The reason I do it is three-fold…

First, I tell the truth because it’s the right thing to do. To me, it just doesn’t sit right in my soul to lie to someone else, especially for something important. I’ve told “white lies” many times before, but they usually make me want to come out and say what I really mean. Every time I lie, the other person may not know, but I do. And I don’t want that to chip away at my integrity and how I view myself. To lie because it’s easy is a coward’s way out.

Second, I tell the truth because the truth is likely to come out anyways and I want to maintain my integrity in the eyes of others. Part of the first reason I tell the truth is to maintain how I view myself, but as much as I specifically don’t care how random people view me, I do want people to generally view me as someone who is honest. If I keep telling lies and it turns out that the other person found out I lied, I begin to lose credibility. It takes a lot more effort to regain their trust once you’ve lost it.

Third, I tell the truth because it takes less energy to do so. Have you ever been caught in a web of lies? You have to keep fabricating a story for it to “make sense.” Then, when retelling the story, you have to try to stay consistent with what you’ve already said. How can you keep track of it all when it’s all made up? It takes less energy to just tell the truth. If there are consequences, so be it. Get those out of the way. Apologize if necessary. But I’d rather rip the band-aid off by telling the truth rather than prolong the story (and have the anxiety of wondering when you’re going to get caught/be found out).

The truth hurts sometimes. It sucks. But I’d rather know the truth and do something about it than be told a lie and think everything was ok. If you feel the same way, why would you treat anyone else so poorly by lying to them?

Two important factors for success

In my mind, there are two prerequisites for success: hard work and resilience. If you have those two qualities, you can succeed in nearly anything in life. Obviously there can be limiting factors defined by your physical or mental capacity, but many things can be trained/taught to at least get you to an above average level. You just need to have the proper mindset going into the activity.

Default: Forgiveness

Train yourself to default to forgiveness. If someone offends you or if they’ve wronged you, have it planned ahead of time that you will forgive them. Rise above your circumstances.

If you hold a grudge, it’s only hurting yourself. Let go. That doesn’t mean that you should forget what happened. But you should use what you learned from that experience and move forward. You may trust someone less, but holding hate in your heart will slowly destroy you.