We all like nice things.
After all, they’re nice!
For example, when I go to show someone houses, they typically like the more expensive home when comparing it to other, less expensive homes we’ve seen together. And why shouldn’t they? There’s usually a reason why it’s more expensive – it’s bigger, more updated, maybe has more acreage, or is in a better location. I would prefer the more expensive (nicer) home as well.
But what we need to be careful of is to not get too emotional when buying a house (or anything else, for that matter). Eventually, you will turn it into a home. But you do that by making memories there with friends and family, or you do that by putting your personal touches in/around the home. Until then, it is just a house with the potential for you to make memories. The key is to NOT fall in love with possessions (or the thought of owning them) and to not let it take control over your rational thought.
The same can be said for any material item in life. We want the fancier car, the best new gadget, or the popular toy for our kids. But material items only bring us short-term happiness. Over time, our happiness fades away as we become used to that item, but what doesn’t fade away is our lust for that dopamine kick we get when buying/receiving something new. The things we buy end up owning us, because they own our emotions.
So how do we combat this without having to live like a monk? Shouldn’t we still get nice things if we can afford them? The answer is completely up to you. Not everyone wants to live the same lifestyle, nor should everyone live the same lifestyle. But if you want some simple tips, think about these four things before your next purchase…
1. If you can’t pay cash for it, you can’t afford it. With the exception of your house, if you can’t pay for something outright, you probably should hold off on that purchase. Then, when you can afford to pay for it, you’ll either still want it but recognize how many hours you had to work to get it (giving you more awareness of the actual cost of that item) OR you won’t want it anymore. Either option is fine, we just want to be intentional about our decision-making process.
2. Try to envision what buying this item will do for you. Is there a practical/functional purpose for this item that saves you time, energy, or (eventually) money? Will it make your life easier? Will it give you more time or less stress so you can be present with your loved ones? Will you still be happy with this purchase in a year or will you have forgotten all about it? Only purchase it if the benefits outweigh the costs of getting it.
3. If you buy one item, discard one item. It’s easier to do this one purchase at a time instead of ending up with a closet full of clothes you never wear. Living a minimalist lifestyle can be freeing. That way, if you need to pick up and leave really quickly, you can. If your house burns down in a fire or is destroyed by Mother Nature, you have only lost a few items. You’ll end up valuing the few items you have even more – giving you more enjoyment over those items. (It’s like the kid who has every toy under the sun…because he has so many toys, he probably wouldn’t even realize if one went missing. Each toy is devalued due to an oversupply of toys.)
4. Having less things helps to avoid the distractions of a technology-driven society. Would you enjoy watching more sunrises or looking up at the night sky? Does sitting around a campfire having deep conversations with friends interest you? How about having very loose/light/insignificant conversations with friends? (Those matter just as much.) Well, when you have a house full of stuff, you’re less likely to go out and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. You’re less likely to engage in those conversations with friends because you’re distracted. You’re on your phone, you’re watching tv, you’re playing a video game, etc. With less around you, it forces you to pay attention to the ones you’re with and gives you a long-lasting happiness with the relationships you build.