Tag: no

Searching for peace? Then do this!

If you want peace and tranquillity, focus on saying “no” to more things and doing less. Be selective with what you give your time, energy, and money to. Focus on what’s essential. Ask yourself: what makes the most positive impact on your life from a mental, social/relational, spiritual, financial, and physical standpoint? How can you keep doing those things (or if you’re not doing enough of those, how can you do it more often)?

On the flip side, what are the biggest/most negative stressors in your life? What are things that need to be done, but maybe not by you or not right now? How can you eliminate or minimize those?

Lastly, stop feeling like you’re obligated to say yes to everything. If it excites you and is good for you, say yes! If it needs to be done by you, even if it doesn’t excite you, say yes. But if it doesn’t, you can just as easily decide to say no if that’s what you really want to do.

No means no (for now)

No doesn’t mean no forever. It means no for now. It means not yet. It means that your current offer hasn’t enticed them enough or that they are not motivated enough to accept your offer. No isn’t the end of the discussion, it’s the beginning of the negotiation. If you really want to make a deal, don’t stop at no. Dig deeper and see what relatively minor concessions you could give to the other party (which may be of little value to you, but greatly valued by them) to sweeten the deal.

Dealing with rejection

Treat everyone nicely, even when they reject you. You never know when your gracious response may help you in the future.

If you act poorly or inappropriately, people will remember that. It may feel good to “tell them off” in the moment, but it builds ill will towards your future self.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you act kindly and with grace, they may think to help you in the future. They might be rejecting your idea right now because they don’t agree with it, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Don’t take rejection personally. Instead, thank them for their time and try to get feedback from them as to why they said no. Now, you can use that feedback to improve your idea (or the communication of your idea) in the present, or gain a better understanding on how to present to that person in the future (what do they value?).

Opportunity cost

If you’re saying “yes” to one thing (and this applies to anything in life), that means you are saying “no” to something else.

What is your opportunity cost? We can’t be in two places at once. We only have so much time in the day. We have limited resources. So by saying yes to one thing, it is costing you the opportunity to do something else.

Choose what you spend your time, energy, and money on wisely. If you always want to do what feels good in the moment, you may be sacrificing the well-being of your future self.