Have you ever caught yourself wishing for more? Have you said, “I can’t wait to get out of this crappy apartment!” Or, “This car is the worst! I want to get a new one.” Or even, “I’ll be happier once X happens.”
But the reality is, those things you think you want? The things you think will make you happy? They won’t give you lasting happiness. You’ll love your new apartment or car for a couple of months, then that will become your new normal, your baseline will reset, and you eventually will want something newer and better again. You have to change your mindset if you want lasting happiness. It’s like the cliche, “Life is a journey, not a destination. Learn to enjoy the ride.”
Instead of wishing for more, we should work on being grateful for what we have. We should enjoy where we’re at, and that means sometimes you have to embrace the suck. It may not be the most fun now, but as long as you put yourself in a position to get past this (without focusing too much on the end result, a.k.a. “the destination”), one day you’ll be able to look back fondly at the memories you’re making.
I remember living in a century house in Columbus my sophomore and junior years in college. The one side of the house didn’t really warm up that well during the winter months and we were broke college students, so we closed that section off. At its worst, the kitchen must have been 10 degrees colder than the living room, maybe more. But it’s not like the living room was that warm either. In addition to having the curtains closed and a blanket lining the bottom of the door (to minimize the draft), we always wore sweatpants and hoodies while wrapped up in a blanket with the space heater nearby. Our rooms were cold too, especially mine since I lived in the attic! It wasn’t the best house, but we loved it. You have to embrace those moments and the memories you are blessed to make with others. Now, over ten years later, my old roommates and I still bring up those times and laugh. We’ve moved on to bigger and better things, but that’s kind of the point. You don’t want to be stuck in a crappy house (or situation) forever. You should be ambitious. You should have goals. But don’t make those the end all, be all. Focus on the journey, not the destination. After all, a little adversity is going to kill you.
I know that we plan on letting our kids have that crappy job, the embarrassing car that has a name, and a stereotypical college house/apartment. It builds resilience and character. When things aren’t handed to you and you occasionally have to “embrace the suck,” it allows you to put your current situation into perspective. You’ll eventually get past this hurdle, but until then, try to soak everything in. Remember every detail of what’s going on. It will only make the story that much better when you relive/retell it in the future. Until then, try to enjoy the ride.
