opinions | The Caleb Barney Collection

Don’t go broke trying to look rich.

I saw this post from FinancialSimplified on Instagram and loved it. How many people spend above their means just to try to impress other people?

If you have the “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality, it’s going to take you a really long time to build wealth. And if you’re ok with that, that’s fine. But if you have children, maybe it’s time to shift that mindset. I say this for a few reasons…

1) It is your duty as a parent to live responsibly, and to teach your kids to live responsibly. This goes for health, work ethic, attitude, teaching them about money, etc. If you have bad money habits and idolize material things or trying to impress others with your new clothes, new shoes, new car, etc, what does that teach them?

2) You don’t have to leave your adult children anything. At that point, they should be self-sufficient. I remember my dad saying that when he passed away, he wanted his last check to bounce. I have the complete opposite mentality. When I pass away, I want to leave my kids with millions. As long as I’ve given them the proper financial background so they don’t blow the money, and I’ve raised them to be good human beings (moral, just, etc), I’d be more than happy to relieve any sort of financial burden from their shoulders. If you don’t have to worry about how you’re going to pay your bills, it gives you the freedom and creativity to try new things that can be more fulfilling.

We never know when we’re going to pass away. If you’re not financially set, or if your passing will create hardship for your significant other and your dependents, you need to have life insurance set up. It’s a small cost for you right now, but if you leave this earth without it, the people you love most will suffer the most – not only emotionally, but financially too. If you needed two incomes to pay for your house, child care, food, transportation, and general living, what kind of stress and struggle will your family encounter if you pass away and they’re left with nothing?

3) You owe it to yourself. Why is it that we love ourselves so much, we are all so selfish in a way, but we care about what other people think? Why should other people’s opinions of us matter when they don’t really even know us?

You know yourself. Are you buying that $500 fancy wallet to impress yourself, even if there is no money in it? If I did that, I would feel worse about myself. Why cave into others’ expectations? Why have no money left over to spend on an experience with my wife and kids? And, not only that, but you’ll feel like an imposter too. Sure, you look rich. But you’ll know that you don’t actually have the money to back it up.

Don’t go broke trying to look rich. Don’t try to impress people you don’t know, you don’t like, and who don’t have to deal with your poor financial decisions.

We all have to start somewhere. Live within your means. If people laugh, just know that as long as you keep saving and investing money, trying to increase your income constantly while it increasing your spending, you’ll eventually have the last laugh. You’ll get to retire early when they are still slaving away in their 9-5.

New information is an invitation to question old opinions

It’s ok to have an opinion on something even if you’re not an expert in that field. But to keep that opinion (whether it be informed or uninformed) may not be logical once new information comes to light.

You should focus on having the right answer, even if that means you were wrong before. Strive to be right as often as possible, but don’t stick with your original opinion that you know is wrong just so you don’t have to say you were wrong before. Everyone is wrong about many things over the course of their lifetimes. But the ones who are generally viewed as the smartest and most successful are the ones who are able to admit when they’re wrong and to move forward when they are presented with more recent information.

Stop worrying about what other people think

Do not let the opinions of others (or, more accurately, what you think their opinions MIGHT BE), stop you from dreaming big and being true to yourself. We are all “weird” in one way or another. We’re all unique.

Stop trying to be like everyone else. The average American is overweight, in debt, and doesn’t like their job (life?)…why would you strive to be more like that?

Be true to yourself. Dream big, but more importantly, go after those dreams everyday. People may say that what’s you’re aiming for isn’t possible. But those people either don’t understand the dream, don’t understand the effort you’re willing to put in to make it happen, or don’t want you to succeed because it will make them feel worse about themselves. They’ll eventually come around when you start achieving success, and if they don’t, don’t worry about it. You can only control yourself – your thoughts/beliefs, actions/inactions, attitude, etc.

Changing priorities and opinions

People will change as a result of the circumstances that surround them. We all do, and we all should, as our priorities change.

If you are the same person now that you were 10 years ago, ask yourself, why? Are you still learning and growing? Do you only care for yourself or do you have others to care for now? It’s OK that people change over the years. If they didn’t, that wouldn’t be normal. I would hope that your beliefs from when you’re 18 years old and not allowed to legally drink change when you’re a 30-year old with kids, a 50-year old starting to think about retirement, or a 75-year old thinking about the future of your grandkids when you’re gone.

Your core values, morals, and ethics should be constant. But don’t demonize a person for changing their mind on specific topics. As they are presented more information, they should be receptive to changing their thoughts based on the new information they’ve received.

Changing opinions and admitting when you’re wrong

The “better” man or woman isn’t the one who is always right (which, by the way, is impossible, as nobody is always right). The “better” man or woman is the one who is able to admit when they are wrong and to take corrective actions.

Nobody is perfect. I’d like to think that most people are good and they want what’s best for everyone, but with a bias towards what also helps them the most.

Our thinking is skewed by our past. Whatever has happened to us previously, or what is happening to us now, any hardships we’ve faced and either defeated or were overcome by, the friends we are surrounded with, those are the things that affect our views in life. So while I may disagree with you, it is because of the experiences that have shaped my life. I haven’t walked a mile in your shoes just like you haven’t done the same in mine. What is most important is that we be respectful of each other’s opinions. We can try to persuade someone else, but ultimately, it is up to them to decide what they want/how they feel. The only thing you should really focus on is trying to be open-minded.

It takes a bigger person to try to understand someone else as opposed to trying to silence them. And who knows? Maybe by understanding others, you’ll be willing to change your mind along the way.