overcoming obstacles | The Caleb Barney Collection

Setting easy and hard goals

It’s only a partial truth when you hear the saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Because the alternative to that is that something could beat you down and wear you out, and if you don’t allow yourself to recover before the next defeat, you’re only going to see a decrease in performance. Too many harsh defeats in a row could decrease your confidence, and instead of making you stronger, it weakens your resolve.

Practice balancing between setting hard to achieve, but still realistic goals and getting some quick wins under your belt (to build momentum and confidence). When you do go for something and fail, prioritize learning from your mistakes and recovering from failures. Just make sure that A) you’re not aiming too low just to avoid the feeling of pain/loss; and B) you have regular stretch goals that are realistic, but definitely not guaranteed.

Pain is subjective: How to get comfortable with the uncomfortable

“The reason his fights look so easy is because his training was so hard.” – Paraphrased from Joe Rogan when he was talking about Floyd Mayweather.

Train to make the uncomfortable not phase you. If that is your baseline and you’re used to facing obstacles, it will become your new normal. But to someone who hasn’t faced those same difficulties, when they suddenly are thrown into a tough situation, it will be harder for them mentally, physically, and emotionally.

How do you get comfortable with the uncomfortable?

A huge part of it is mental fitness. Mental fitness is more than just being mentally tough. Being tough (or being able to endure) is just one aspect of your mental fitness, but being able to understand concepts, to think outside of the box, to have a good memory. and to be flexible in a changing environment all contribute to being mentally fit.

The other part (the “easier” part) is physical fitness. Again, you want to be physically tough and able to hold up to pressure, but physics fitness also includes strength, endurance, flexibility, mobility, balance, coordination, having a healthy heart and joints, etc.

If you are mentally and physically fit, it will be easier to overcome challenging situations. So what are some things you can do to become fit?

Train your body consistently to lift heavy weights for low reps, to lift light weights for high reps, to sprint short distances at fast speeds, to walk/run/bike long distances at slow speeds, to occasionally work with very little sleep, to occasionally work with very little to eat, to think fast and make quick decisions, to analyze and think slowly, to deal with the heat, to deal with the cold, to read/write/draw, etc. These are just a few examples…

There are so many ways you can train your body and mind at the same time. Do a difficult task daily, one that pushes your existing comfort levels, because the more difficult you make your training, the easier your life will be. If your training is harder than the actual event, you’ll remain strong physically and, more importantly, you’ll remain strong mentally and emotionally. This will give you the edge you need over your competition.

Pain is subjective – it changes based on the perspective of who is going through the experience. Running a mile at a sub 6-minute clip is easy for those who do it consistently, but for the untrained person, this will probably be very painful. What will you do today to increase your fitness and increase your pain threshold?

There are no shortcuts worth taking in the long run

There are no shortcuts worth taking in the long run. Of course, this is metaphorically speaking. I’m sure you could find actual examples of shortcuts that are beneficial to you. But in the way of thinking of trying to avoid putting in the hard work, it is almost always better that you go through that tough experience instead of trying to skirt around it. The hardships will help to develop you as a person.

So instead of cheating to get an A in a class or on a test, study hard and earn that A. That way you’ll actually learn the material and be able to use it in the future.

Or instead of taking steroids to get strong really quickly, build your body over time. It will be safer and better for your overall health.

Instead of lying or taking credit when you don’t deserve it at work, tell the truth and you’ll earn more respect. Share the credit with others when it is due to them. Be humble in your successes and gracious in your defeats.

Learn to enjoy the journey instead of only focusing on the destination. When you stop and pay attention, you’ll realize that the trials and tribulations you experience along the way are some of your best learning lessons.

Building Resilience

Work on being resilient in all situations. No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you can and will overcome it. When you fall down, you can choose to stay down and wallow in sorrow, or you can choose to get back up. Be a riser. Others can’t keep you down, only you get to make that choice.

Don’t overdramatize things. Something didn’t go your way…What is complaining going to do? Nothing. Learn from your mistakes. And if you feel you did everything “right” but it still didn’t work out, that doesn’t mean you need to make a bad decision next time because the good decision didn’t pay off this time/last time.

To experience success, you must experience failure

“Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.” – Arianna Huffington

Success is something we all crave. Failure is something we try to avoid like the plague. But to experience the most success possible, you must also endure many failures along the way.

Success is not about never failing. It’s not about never having a hard time. It’s not about making everything look easy/effortless.

Everyone who has done anything great or meaningful in their lives has had to overcome hardships. But here’s the thing, the people who toil in misery? They have faced those hardships as well, but instead of rising after they have fallen, they stay down. Don’t stay down…get up after you fail. Dust yourself off. Adapt and overcome. Eventually, you will turn your failures into success as well.