overcoming obstacles | The Caleb Barney Collection

Facing your fears

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche

This is true for overcoming physical challenges, but also for overcoming mental challenges.

The biggest mental challenge sometimes isn’t even real. It’s the fear of “what might happen” if you do something. A lot of times, it’s that fear that holds us back from achieving our full potential. We fear that we’ll fail, that others will judge us, that we will be rejected or look dumb. Those fears might be realized. Nobody is immune from failing. BUT, what we need to focus on is not the failure itself, but rather that we mustered the courage to take action.

It’s just like Teddy Roosevelt’s “Man in the arena” speech. In it, TR says:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

When you face your fear, you feel like it’s going to kill you at first, but it doesn’t and you are stronger for it.

Experience makes things easier

Whenever you first encounter a new problem, it can seem overwhelming. You don’t know what to do. Trying to find the right answer or response is hard. But once you figure it out, once you’ve experienced it, the next time you face that problem, it will seem easier. But the obstacle hasn’t changed, only your ability to overcome that obstacle has.

The obstacle is what it is. How you (and others) view it depends on what it is in comparison to. Your experience has shaped you and helped strengthen you, making the “hurdle” that is the obstacle appear to shrink. And over time, as you continue clearing the hurdle with relative ease, it will seem even smaller.

So, as you face new challenges, keep that in perspective. It may seem like a massive undertaking today, but you’ll look back at this in a year and wonder why you thought it was such a big deal.

Realistically optimistic

Make the best of any situation. That doesn’t mean that you have to view every situation as a positive one. But it does mean that you should not dwell on the negative or on what you cannot change…

You CAN be an optimist and a realist at the same time. They do not have to be mutually exclusive. Being realistic is very important. But a lot of people don’t realize what they’re actually capable of and they view things as being “unrealistic” or out of reach when really they just haven’t found the right way to get what they want yet.

Figure out a way how to make a bad situation better. Do not be easily overcome when things don’t go your way. Stop saying, “I can’t do it.” Instead, ask, “How can I do it?”

How do you view failure?

How do you view failure? Are you afraid of it? Is it something to be avoided at all costs?

I used to think about failure that way. It was my biggest fear. I didn’t want to look dumb by not knowing something, or by trying to do something and being inadequate at it. That was a nightmarish scenario in my mind.

But the more I read, the more I realized that life’s greatest entrepreneurs, the most innovative thinkers, and the people we often think of as the most outwardly successful all had one thing in common. All of them took chances and they all failed along the road to success.

Many of them “failed fast.” And that’s actually a strategy for a lot of successful people. Why take a year to fail at something when you can get the same lessons by failing within a couple of weeks? Fail quickly, make corrections, then try again. If you fail again, make more corrections and repeat.

You are more likely to see quicker progress (and, ultimately achieve your goal) if you fail quickly as opposed to slowly. There are many reasons for that, but I believe the two most important reasons are this:

1. You’re taking action. If you want to achieve something, take massive action. Most of us set too long of a timeframe to achieve our goals. We can accomplish them much quicker if we just take bigger, more frequent steps to get us towards our goals. You need to build momentum.

2. You feel more accomplished. It’s a little counterintuitive that you feel more accomplished after failing quickly, but hear me out. You’re taking action, moving (mostly) in the right direction over a short period of time. That feels way better than slowly doing something because you can see a tangible difference in where you are today versus where you were a week or two ago. Not only that, but say you move slowly and then realize after a year that whatever project you were working on wasn’t going to work. How unmotivating is that? You just “wasted” a year trying to do something when, if you would have taken massive action, you could have figured out in months? That’s rough.

Failure is a good thing as long as it doesn’t kill you (or your business) and you learn from it. Get back up after you’ve been knocked down. Try something new and you will be one step closer to your goal. One of my favorite quotes is from Denis Waitley. He said, “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” So go be somebody. Go do something. You’re only a failure if you either don’t try in the first place or if you quit.

Mastery and challenge

What brings us happiness? A balance of mastery and challenge. This is a paradox as a life with only mastery and no challenge would be boring. Imagine playing a 3 year old in a game of checkers. You would always win and there would be no challenge. But a life with only challenges and no mastery would be equally, if not more, dreadful. It would be like constantly getting sand kicked in your face. And just when you’re about to get up again, someone shoves you down. A life of only challenges yet no mastery is not a life of happiness.

We need a balance between the two. With mastery brings a sense of accomplishment and of overcoming difficulties that not everyone is willing to attempt. But if you only stay within your comfort zone, in the domain which you have mastered, you will soon find yourself bored. And a bored mind is not optimized for maximum happiness. Instead, you need another challenge, something to take you out of your comfort zone, but a challenge that is still possible to overcome. And then the cycle continues, as anything that challenges you is inherently something you have not mastered yet.