Show them unconditional love. Tell them that you are always proud of them. They shouldn’t need to get good grades to earn your love.
Let them be curious. If they’re into something, make that thing seem important to you too. If they ask questions, no matter how silly they are or how many there are, encourage them to ask more. At the very least, don’t get annoyed when answering them.
Teach them that it’s ok when things don’t go their way.
Teach them that honesty is key, but if they can convey their honest opinion in a nice/respectful way, always opt to do it in that manner.
Be supportive, but not overbearing. Let them fail, but step in before it’s catastrophic.
What is your default life code? If you could have a list to share with your children about how you want them to act, or how you should be acting for them to see, what would it be? Some of the things I want my kids to see from me are the following…
Always try your best, but have fun doing it.
Be respectful and kind.
Be humble in winning and in defeat. Act like you’ve been there before.
Hold yourself to high standards, but don’t judge others if they don’t do the same.
I saw this post from FinancialSimplified on Instagram and loved it. How many people spend above their means just to try to impress other people?
If you have the “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality, it’s going to take you a really long time to build wealth. And if you’re ok with that, that’s fine. But if you have children, maybe it’s time to shift that mindset. I say this for a few reasons…
1) It is your duty as a parent to live responsibly, and to teach your kids to live responsibly. This goes for health, work ethic, attitude, teaching them about money, etc. If you have bad money habits and idolize material things or trying to impress others with your new clothes, new shoes, new car, etc, what does that teach them?
2) You don’t have to leave your adult children anything. At that point, they should be self-sufficient. I remember my dad saying that when he passed away, he wanted his last check to bounce. I have the complete opposite mentality. When I pass away, I want to leave my kids with millions. As long as I’ve given them the proper financial background so they don’t blow the money, and I’ve raised them to be good human beings (moral, just, etc), I’d be more than happy to relieve any sort of financial burden from their shoulders. If you don’t have to worry about how you’re going to pay your bills, it gives you the freedom and creativity to try new things that can be more fulfilling.
We never know when we’re going to pass away. If you’re not financially set, or if your passing will create hardship for your significant other and your dependents, you need to have life insurance set up. It’s a small cost for you right now, but if you leave this earth without it, the people you love most will suffer the most – not only emotionally, but financially too. If you needed two incomes to pay for your house, child care, food, transportation, and general living, what kind of stress and struggle will your family encounter if you pass away and they’re left with nothing?
3) You owe it to yourself. Why is it that we love ourselves so much, we are all so selfish in a way, but we care about what other people think? Why should other people’s opinions of us matter when they don’t really even know us?
You know yourself. Are you buying that $500 fancy wallet to impress yourself, even if there is no money in it? If I did that, I would feel worse about myself. Why cave into others’ expectations? Why have no money left over to spend on an experience with my wife and kids? And, not only that, but you’ll feel like an imposter too. Sure, you look rich. But you’ll know that you don’t actually have the money to back it up.
Don’t go broke trying to look rich. Don’t try to impress people you don’t know, you don’t like, and who don’t have to deal with your poor financial decisions.
We all have to start somewhere. Live within your means. If people laugh, just know that as long as you keep saving and investing money, trying to increase your income constantly while it increasing your spending, you’ll eventually have the last laugh. You’ll get to retire early when they are still slaving away in their 9-5.
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” – Harry Truman
Why do you think this is? Well, it’s because if you’re taking the time to read, you’re doing the following:
⁃ Working on self-improvement/learning…books are condensed versions of life lessons taught by others more experienced than yourself (or at least with different experiences than yourself). If you can read about someone else’s failures, you do not have to suffer that same hardship and can propel yourself to greater heights more quickly.
⁃ Making your mind work…a lazy mind will not go far in life. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
⁃ Dedicated enough to read when you could be doing something easier (like watching tv or napping). Those with enough dedication, determination, and will-power to do what they know will help take them to where they want to go are far more likely to succeed.
– NOT all readers are leaders partially because it also depends on what you’re reading. If you’re reading romance novels, that is less likely to translate to a position of leadership compared to if you’re reading a book on business, relationships, leadership, parenting, etc.
Life is like a fight. In the beginning, we’re wearing one of those fat sumo suits where if we make a mistake or get knocked on our butt, it won’t hurt much.
As we progress through life, we slowly start increasing in levels of difficulty, risk, and pain. The mistakes we make run the risk of being more consequential to our lives. So after the sumo suit, maybe we are wearing headgear, training gloves, kneepads, etc. And when we get into junior high or high school, maybe we’re just wearing boxing gear. By the time we graduate college, we are now preparing for a world of bareknuckle boxing.
There will always be difficulties in life, but for the parents who try to clear a path and not let their kids ever fall or get hurt, they are actually doing them a disservice. Because when their kids get out into the real world and have to face other bareknuckle boxers, but they haven’t made it past their sumo suit training, they are going to be in a world of pain and not know what to do with it.
We need to build up our pain tolerance (and our children’s pain tolerance) by failing early and failing often. Life is not meant to be all rainbows and butterflies. We’re not only going to have sunny days. We need to encounter the dark days and know that we’ll make it through. It will help us overcome the challenges that inevitably come with living.
Think about that when you’re parenting. It sucks to watch your kid experience any sort of pain, whether that’s physical or emotional. But your job as a parent isn’t to make sure they never experience pain, it’s to make sure that they know how to respond to it and come back stronger.
