Tag: perseverance

Taking the bitter with the sweet

So much of life is outside of our control – much of which is bitter. We set out to do something and we are quickly beset by challenges, by loss, by other people’s tendency to think about themselves over other people’s needs. Yet we continue on…not just because we have to (or ought to), but because we know what’s on the other side is wonderful: friendships, success, excellence, life-changing experiences.

If today ends up being another day where there is more bitter than sweet for you, try to remember what Theodore Roosevelt said. Say to yourself, “I am taking the bitter to get to the sweet.” Say, “It all balances out and I am lucky to have both when so many have neither.” In this way you will not only grow stronger and more able to endure any misfortune that comes your way, but you will also be more grateful for and appreciative of the gifts you are given as well.

On struggling…words from an NBA superstar

We all will face adversity in life. It is what it is. But our attitude will help determine how we get through it. Damian Lillard, one of the NBA’s premier scoring guards has gotten off to a rough start to this season. When asked about his struggles, he said the following:

“I always look at struggles as an opportunity to show my true character. When things go great there’s a lot of praise that goes along with that. A lot of people give you a lot of credit. They speak highly of you on social media, TV. ‘Oh Dame had 60, Dame had 50.’ They speak really highly of you. But I think it says more when you’re going through something and s— is kind of hitting the fan and you’re struggling and everybody’s got something to say and to me the real ones, they can keep on trucking and keep on going and still find a way to get the job done.

“And, me personally, I love when those opportunities present themselves. Because when I am riding high and when I do get smoking hot and when I get going people are going to look at it and be like, ‘We remember when you were struggling and you didn’t shy away from it.’ I think it will be more respect for the success when they see how you handle failure and how you handle struggle.

“So, personally, I embrace that. It’s not fun. It’s not easy but it’s part of my DNA. That’s how I got to this position. I’m not angry about it. I’m frustrated with it. I do see it as a challenge and it’s one I accept and I know I’ll come out on top like I always do.”

I especially love the last part that he lays out. He embraces the struggle! It’s what has made him who he is. He doesn’t get angry about it because what’s done is done. But he does get frustrated and use it as fuel. He sees it as an obstacle to overcome, and he has the confidence in himself – the belief in himself – that he’ll get the job done.

We should all embrace failures, struggles, and setbacks this way. We shouldn’t be happy that they’re happening to us, but what is moping around going to do about it? What is getting angry or pointing the blame elsewhere going to do about it? Ultimately, it’s your responsibility. Take it and figure out your next move to try to make it better.

Reframing your perspective to experience more gratitude

When things don’t go as planned, you can either look at it as a negative or spin it into a positive. For example:

When you’re sore from a workout, it allows you to be grateful for everyday when you feel “normal.”

When you’re sick, it allows you to be grateful for when you’re healthy.

When you got a bad night of sleep, it allows you to be grateful for when you sleep really well (or even moderately well).

We can go on and on with the examples. The point is that things won’t always go your way in life. You may have a plan, but there’s little reason to believe that everything will go exactly according to that plan. You can either pout when that happens and get down on your luck, or you can spin the narrative. Use it to your advantage and learn to really embrace the things we often take for granted.

Just remember, when you’re feeling sick, or tired, or sore, it’s only temporary. What about those who are chronically sick, tired, or sore? What about those people who have it way worse than you – who don’t have access to medicine, to a bed or proper shelter to sleep/live in, or who are physically or mentally handicapped?

It’s easy to make yourself the center of your world, because you’re always with yourself and you’re always aware of how you’re feeling. But once you reframe you’re perspective and start thinking about other people and their situations, you can begin feeling more grateful for even your “bad” days.

Playing the victim card vs taking control of your life

Don’t play the victim card. It may be true that you have been victimized. But until recent times, not many people cared and even less people offered to help.

It’s up to you to make your life better – not your family, not your friends, and not the government. If, by some chance, you are fortunate enough to have somebody care and help you out, that’s icing on the cake. But don’t expect that to happen. Nobody owes you anything, especially if they are not the ones who directly harmed you.

If you feel bad about something that has happened, that’s ok. I’m not saying you should be a robot. But I am saying that what’s done is done and you need to move on. Wasting time, energy, and thought on feeling bad for yourself isn’t going to help you moving forward. How can you make your life better starting today?

Love, respect, and forgiveness

Remember to treat yourself and others with love, respect, and forgiveness every single day.

When you start with love, you will always want the best for yourself and for others. You’ll try to help them as much as you can. But help doesn’t mean giving them handouts and spoon feeding them. There needs to be a healthy balance between short-term help and long-term help. Always “helping” someone get what they want, for example, may not be helping them in the long run. Making sure nobody ever feels struggle is not helping them. It’s weakening them, giving them less ability to overcome adversity, and giving them less resolve. The best help is by teaching them how to get what they want, not having you go out and getting them whatever they want.

Next, you need to treat yourself and others with respect. The moment you start disrespecting others is the moment that you begin to lose credibility for yourself. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Don’t talk down to others, don’t berate them, but also don’t treat them with pity. If you see someone who needs your help, try to walk alongside them. You may think that the other person can’t do anything for you, but you never know how your actions can affect them, where they’ll end up, or what connections they might have as well. Don’t forget you must also respect yourself. That means setting boundaries with people or saying no sometimes. You need to respect yourself enough to not let yourself be walked all over by others.

Lastly, you need to practice forgiveness with yourself and others. You don’t have to forget how you made a mistake or how others might have wronged you. But you should forgive them. Everyone makes mistakes, yourself included. Try to learn from them and move on. Make sure you don’t hold grudges or else you will live a long, miserable life.