Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
Ask more questions, but ask better questions too. You already know what you think you know. Your goal should be to understand what other people know (or think they know). What can you learn from them? But don’t pester them with annoying questions.
Be curious. The more curious you are, the faster you’ll learn and grow as a person. And, hey, some additional perks are you’ll probably have some great conversations and grow stronger friendships too.
When it comes down to it, I believe our ultimate goal should be to be happy. That should be the “why” behind all of our actions. But we need to break this down further to truly understand it. We should not confuse short-term happiness for long-term happiness, or vice versa. For many people, their short-term happiness hinges on doing something that feels pleasurable at the time, but comes at the expense of their long-term happiness.
For example, going on a spending spree occasionally is fine, but doing that everyday will make you go broke in the long run and you’ll have to delay retirement.
Eating pizza or doughnuts is really enjoyable at the time, but do it everyday and you’ll likely be working your way towards all sorts of health problems.
Taking a day off from working out or reading to let your body and mind recharge is great, but to never work out or read puts your body and mind in a deficit over time.
You need to find the balance between short-term happiness and long-term happiness. The easiest way to do this is to find enjoyment in the process of everything you do. If you can find as much overlap as possible where what you want to do in the short-term is actually benefitting you kn the long-term, that’s when you’ll really feel supercharged instead of like you’re always sacrificing happiness now for happiness in the future (or vice versa).
So, what helps to shape our happiness? Usually, it is some combination of striving to be our best selves (mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally, and financially), of feeling a sense of accomplishment by doing something difficult, of contribution (helping others/volunteering/giving back), and of gratitude (being thankful for what we have and not comparing ourselves to others). Find ways to intentionally incorporate actions that push you towards this and you’ll find happiness much more often.
You know what you should do, so go do it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like it. If it’s the right thing to do and it needs to be done, don’t waste anymore time procrastinating. It may be easier to skip that workout, to eat fast food, to go on a spending spree, or to not speak up against injustice, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to not do what you feel is right. Or, maybe you do what is needed, but you only do the bare minimum. Be careful of this. How you do anything is how you do everything. If you start looking for shortcuts, eventually that will be your default behavior.
That being said, that’s what YOU should do. That doesn’t mean that you should hold others to the same standards. Don’t mistake this for letting them off the hook and letting them get away with things that are dangerous, amoral, or illegal. They shouldn’t take advantage of people and still need to be called out (or stopped) when they’re doing something egregious. But for the little things that don’t really matter? Skip the criticism.
Others may do things differently than you – in a way that appears to be less effective and less efficient – but at least they’re doing it. If they ask for advice or for help, then offer it. But don’t do it before then. And don’t judge them for not doing something like you would. After all, those are your standards, not theirs. Be tolerant of their decisions, but strict with your own. If you feel your way of doing things is the “best way” to currently do them, don’t lower your standards just to make things easier for yourself.
Whenever you first encounter a new problem, it can seem overwhelming. You don’t know what to do. Trying to find the right answer or response is hard. But once you figure it out, once you’ve experienced it, the next time you face that problem, it will seem easier. But the obstacle hasn’t changed, only your ability to overcome that obstacle has.
The obstacle is what it is. How you (and others) view it depends on what it is in comparison to. Your experience has shaped you and helped strengthen you, making the “hurdle” that is the obstacle appear to shrink. And over time, as you continue clearing the hurdle with relative ease, it will seem even smaller.
So, as you face new challenges, keep that in perspective. It may seem like a massive undertaking today, but you’ll look back at this in a year and wonder why you thought it was such a big deal.
You can’t change the past, but you can change how you feel about the it. Do you look back at an event that happened in your life and feel bad? Do you feel like you were the victim in that situation? Or, do you reflect on that event and say that you needed that to happen? That because of that event, you are who you are today. You overcame something and are a better person for it.
You probably didn’t realize how good you have it today, and even though it was difficult previously, so many people still have it so much worse than we do. Not only that, but so many people before us had it worse than us, yet they were able to overcome it and do great things.
Don’t let the past limit what you can do in the future. Use those events as steppingstones to get you to where you want to go.