Tag: perspective

Influence vs. control

You can influence others, but you can’t control them. Others can influence you, but they can’t control you. You get to decide what you do or don’t do. Don’t blame someone else for “making” you do something or feel some way. They may have influence over you, but only you get to determine if they control you or not.

Let’s take that a step further and apply it to life circumstances. We don’t get to control what happens in our environment. We can influence it to an extent and it can influence us but we don’t control it and it doesn’t control us.

Don’t blame the economy, the government, the president, your boss, or anyone else for something that isn’t right in your life. They’re only a small part of the problem. The bigger part of the problem is your attitude and your actions.

The good news is that if you’re the majority of the problem, you’re also the majority of the solution. Work on fixing yourself and your life will get better. No matter the circumstances, you can always try to improve your situation by improving your attitude, being prepared, working hard, and being kind to others. If you do this everyday, you’ll soon find out that outside circumstances eventually have less and less influence (and absolutely no control) on your life.

“Get to” versus “have to”

You don’t “have to” do something. You “get to” do it. It is a privilege that you are able to take care of whatever task you are assigned with doing. There are many people out there less fortunate than you are. So your 3-month old is having trouble sleeping at night, crying, and keeping you awake? Well, you are blessed with the opportunity to console him/her. There are plenty of people in the world who desperately want children and, for whatever reason, are unable to have them. You had a fight with your parents? Some people have lost their parents prematurely.

Think about the big picture. Why stress over something so small like “having” to do something? Will this affect you next week? What about next year? Will you even remember this event in 10 years? Make the most of life. Enjoy it. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Being present

Enjoy your time in the present. You can’t change the past and if you dwell too much on it, you can fill your head with regret (from negative memories) or longing (from nostalgic memories). But regardless of what you’re thinking about, if you spend too much time on it, you’re not making new memories. Be present so you can strengthen your current relationships and create new, meaningful memories.

Just as you can’t change the past, you also cannot control the future. There are so many variables outside of what you can influence. Focusing too much on outside factors or on things that might happen can cause you to feel a lot of anxiety.

Once again, the key is to return to the present. You can only control the thoughts you tell yourself and actions you take today. And no matter how smart we think we are, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. Not only that, but we are not guaranteed to be here tomorrow. That’s why you have to balance your actions to maximize living your best life – setting up your future self to succeed, but also enjoying your life today.

Be present. Put things in perspective. It’s important to enjoy life today, to spend time with loved ones, to have regular conversations with friends, and to play a little each day. Life is good as long as you don’t let it overwhelm you.

Teamwork vs the lone wolf

“You can go fast by yourself, but you can go far with a team.”

You can make decisions very quickly if you’re not relying on anyone else to engage in dialogue with/have healthy debate. BUT, having a team, even though it may temporarily slow you down, will allow you to go farther (as a company) and achieve bigger goals. Having a team allows you to see your blind spots, to think of new ways to approaching problems, to delegate, to systemize, and to work ON your business instead of IN your business. Plus, who wants to be the lone wolf? I’m introverted, but even I enjoy collaborating with others (sometimes).

What would you do?

What would you do if you knew that you only had five years to live? You‘re not sick. But you will die and you know the date. In this made up scenario, you’re not allowed to accumulate any additional debt (you can’t just put everything on credit and live it up).

Would you live a lifestyle similar to what you’re living now? What would you change? Would you act differently? Would you work at the same job? Would you work less so you can spend more time with your friends and family?

The point of this thought exercise is to get you to think about the actions you’re taking on a daily basis. Often, we waste too much of our lives because we think we have such a long time on this planet. We lose days, which turn into months, and those months turn into years. Next thing we know, five years have gone by and we’re still doing the same thing, complaining about the same thing, and not doing anything to improve our lives.

So what answers did you come up with to the above questions? What is stopping you from doing those things? Is it fear or a limiting belief? Or did you just not realize that you’ve been wasting time and that we are all dying (only some more quickly than others)? We all have a finite amount of time on this planet. We might as well make the most of it.