Be kind — everyone is in a battle…you don’t know what they’re going through right now. Don’t assume anything. The only thing you can control is your actions. So be kind to them. Hopefully they return the favor. If not, it’s on them, not you.
Tag: perspective
Phrases to cut out of your life
1) “You always/you never”…Usually, when we use this phrase, we’re blaming someone for something. You always do this thing wrong. You never do this thing right…when in reality, that’s just not true. They may do something that irritates you, but you need to do a better job of explaining to them why it upsets you. If they don’t change (and even if they do, they’ll still likely forget from time to time), do your best to let it go. You’ve said your piece. You can’t force someone to do something.
2) “Why do you/why are you”…I’m only referring to using this in an accusatory tone of voice. “Why are you ___?” instantly puts whomever you’re questioning in a defensive position (much like the “you always/never phrase above). Instead, try to ask them how they’re feeling, if anything is wrong, what their thought process was that caused them to feel/act that way, etc.
3) “I have to”…You technically don’t have to do anything. You get to do that thing. Work on being more grateful for the opportunity to do it. You get to go to work today – to earn a living, to accomplish a task, to pay for food/water/shelter, etc. Change your attitude.
4) “I can’t”…Your mind is a powerful thing. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll believe it. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So while you may be unable to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always be able to not do it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask yourself “how can I?”
5) “That’s impossible”…See the paragraph above for “I can’t.” There are some things that don’t seem possible, but if someone else has achieved it, you already know that it is possible. Plus, how many times has the human race done something that most people thought was impossible (like sailing around the world, flying in an airplane, going to space, etc)?
6) “You make me”…Once again, this is a very accusatory statement and will likely escalate the argument rather than diffuse it. But you should also remember that you have to take responsibility for how you feel. If someone “makes you mad,” do you not have any control over your own emotions? If not, you can be easily manipulated by anyone who knows how to push your buttons. Change your attitude/perspective.
Looking back
We all get stuck from time to time, but if we keep chipping away at our goals, one day we’ll look back at what was once difficult and realize how far we’ve come since then.
When we’re making slow and steady progress, we may not realize how much we’ve improved. But take a moment to look back. Reflect on how far you’ve come already and keep that in mind when you feel like giving up on today’s tough task.
Don’t give up. Never stop trying to improve yourself. Always keep learning, growing, developing new skills, and enhancing old ones.
Everything is interconnected
Have you noticed how pushing yourself physically improves your mental strength? Or how challenging or positively stressing your mind can benefit you relationally and spiritually? And by taking care of all of those things somehow creates a better financial picture for you and your family?
Everything you do is interconnected. You may be focused on one aspect of your life (like physical health), only to realize the side effects it has in other areas. This is why it’s so important to start your day off right. I love the Miracle Morning for this reason. In it, Hal Elrod recommends to start off each day with S.A.V.E.R.S.
S.A.V.E.R.S. is an acronym that stands for silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and scribing (writing). If you can wake up an extra half hour (or hour) early to do this, you can build momentum for the rest of your day. By doing this, you will have stimulated your mind and your body, while also giving you clarity on what you want/need to accomplish for the day. I often feel energized after doing this.
Once I’m done with the S.A.V.E.R.S., I make a healthy breakfast. I know that not everyone likes to eat breakfast, but I feel it’s the most important meal of the day, if only because it is when you have the most willpower to eat healthy (while also saving money and giving you the satisfaction knowing that you cooked that meal). If you skip breakfast, it’s too easy to buy fast food or to eat donuts at the office (hurting your wallet and your waistline). And once you start down that slippery slope, it’s hard to get back on track.
Figure out how you can continue to stack little wins throughout the day. It can feel overwhelming to win the day, month, or year. But when you put it into perspective to just take one small, positive action at a time, eventually they’ll add up to make you a healthier, happier person. And don’t forget, every decision you make is interconnected with a different part of your life. Never take that for granted.
On struggling…words from an NBA superstar
We all will face adversity in life. It is what it is. But our attitude will help determine how we get through it. Damian Lillard, one of the NBA’s premier scoring guards has gotten off to a rough start to this season. When asked about his struggles, he said the following:
“I always look at struggles as an opportunity to show my true character. When things go great there’s a lot of praise that goes along with that. A lot of people give you a lot of credit. They speak highly of you on social media, TV. ‘Oh Dame had 60, Dame had 50.’ They speak really highly of you. But I think it says more when you’re going through something and s— is kind of hitting the fan and you’re struggling and everybody’s got something to say and to me the real ones, they can keep on trucking and keep on going and still find a way to get the job done.
“And, me personally, I love when those opportunities present themselves. Because when I am riding high and when I do get smoking hot and when I get going people are going to look at it and be like, ‘We remember when you were struggling and you didn’t shy away from it.’ I think it will be more respect for the success when they see how you handle failure and how you handle struggle.
“So, personally, I embrace that. It’s not fun. It’s not easy but it’s part of my DNA. That’s how I got to this position. I’m not angry about it. I’m frustrated with it. I do see it as a challenge and it’s one I accept and I know I’ll come out on top like I always do.”
I especially love the last part that he lays out. He embraces the struggle! It’s what has made him who he is. He doesn’t get angry about it because what’s done is done. But he does get frustrated and use it as fuel. He sees it as an obstacle to overcome, and he has the confidence in himself – the belief in himself – that he’ll get the job done.
We should all embrace failures, struggles, and setbacks this way. We shouldn’t be happy that they’re happening to us, but what is moping around going to do about it? What is getting angry or pointing the blame elsewhere going to do about it? Ultimately, it’s your responsibility. Take it and figure out your next move to try to make it better.