Tag: philosophy

Being a positive realist

Not everything that happens in life is positive. Yes, you can try to find the silver lining in everything (and you should), but that doesn’t mean that you should ignore the negative.

When you feel pain, suffering, or annoyance, it’s for a reason. Pay attention to that and do something about it. If you can’t do anything about it, there’s no need to get angry or stressed about it. There’s no need to beat yourself up over it or to make yourself feel bad. And there is never a need to have self-pity.

Things happen that we don’t want to happen all the time. We can’t change the past. But we can learn from it and use those experiences to shape our future. Whether we decide to focus on the negative or positive is up to us, but the best choice is to see the whole picture, realize it is what it is, and get to work.

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer says…”God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.”

Today, and from now on, work on being a positive realist. You’re realistic about the situation at hand, but you can find the light in everything.

Spreading joy to make yourself happier

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain

Joy, happiness, and laughter are contagious! Even if you are not happy, trying to make others happy can help improve your mood as well.

If you’re moping around, you may get attention in the short-term. Nice people or people who care about you will ask how you’re doing and try to offer encouragement or advice. But if you’re constantly down in the dumps, eventually people will not want to hang around you as much because you’ll drag their mood down too.

Be happy. Try to make others feel good. The more you can genuinely make others laugh or be happy, the more they’ll want to do the same for you. And you get the positive benefit of doing something nice for others, which will increase your happiness.

Rules of being a good parent

Every parent wants what is best for their kids. These “rules” are something quick I thought about for my 3-year old and 1-year old. The rules will grow and modify as they get older (such as teaching them to be respectful, responsible, and have good work ethic, talking about philosophy, etc). But for now, with my limited experience as a parent, I feel these are a good start for any new parent. Read below and let me know your thoughts in the comments section!

Rules of being a good parent:

1. Be interested in them and give them your attention…When you’re with them, be PRESENT. Don’t be on your phone or watching tv. Don’t think about work. Ask them questions and actively listen to them.

2. Don’t be afraid to say no…kids shouldn’t feel entitled to anything. When you said no, stick to your word. Don’t give in because they’re throwing a tantrum. It’s always going to be easier to give them what they want, but is that helping them in the long run?

3. Teach them that actions have consequences – whether those are good or bad consequences depends on the action.

4. Support their interests. You may not like whatever they happen to be into at the moment, but if it’s not hurting them, support them. Be interested in what they’re interested in, even if you have to fake it. Let them be themselves and explore things on their own without you influencing them to like/dislike something. They should figure that out on their own.

5. Tell them you love them. They should know how much they mean to you and they should feel loved and supported. Tell them you love them and that you’re proud of them everyday.

When will you actually pull the trigger?

You’ve been talking about how you want to do this or how you’d like to do that…but how long have you been saying this?

Stop procrastinating. If you want to do something, make it happen. Just do it.

It all starts with taking action. Sure, you need to plan and prepare. But you can only do that for so long. Eventually, you’re just lying to yourself that you need more time, more money, more…something…

When are you actually going to pull the trigger and do what you want to do? Do you want to get healthier? Start today. Do you want to go on vacation? Book it today.

What if you wait ten years to do something, only to find out you absolutely love it? Wouldn’t you want more time to experience that thing? Start now and live without regret. Because even if the experience isn’t everything you dreamed it would be, at least you would know if you like it or not. You would have clarity on what is, and not worry about “what if.” Stop waiting and just do it.

You’re not going to win

“It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.” – Bill Murray

When you’re in an argument or when you disagree with someone (especially about their opinion or in “gray” matters), how often do you ever actually say something that gets them to change their minds? It’s hard enough to convince them that you’re right using logic and facts, but when you are debating over something that doesn’t have a factually correct/incorrect answer yet and is based on speculation, you most likely aren’t going to “win” that argument.

This is why people say to not talk about sex, politics, religion, or money. Those topics are too emotionally charged. And what is right for one person may not be right for you. How they view the subject will likely be different than you, and discussing it leaves you open to having huge disagreements and arguments over something in which you won’t change their mind.

That being said, if you do get caught up in a debate, don’t take it personally. They believe what they believe and you believe what you believe. Don’t take offense to their opinion, which more often than not, have no bearing on your life. Why would you choose to get worked up over something that doesn’t actually affect you?