Tag: philosophy

How to deal with our own problems

There are legitimate hurdles and hardships we have to overcome on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. But most of the hurdles we face in life are not unique to ourselves.

That problem with getting good grades? Or the person who has been bullying you? Something happened to you at work? Or your home life isn’t quite what you want it to be?

You are unique, but the problems you’re facing have been encountered (and overcome) by others.

The issue is when we pity ourselves. Then, it’s not just the obstacle we’re facing anymore. We’ve also added a self-imposed obstacle – our mindset. If we think we can’t do something, that we’re the victim in a situation, or that to overcome the original obstacle will be difficult, it will be!

Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on solutions! Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. Have faith that you will prevail, try to find answers, and start taking action. Don’t feel bad for yourself and realize that plenty of other people have been in a similar situation as you and they’ve been able to survive/thrive. You can too!

Using emotions to your advantage

Use anger and frustration to your advantage. Yelling at others and demeaning them never helps a situation. Getting so worked up that you can’t function properly never helps a situation. Even being passive aggressive toward those around you when you’re frustrated doesn’t help.

What good is you being mad at something going to do? What good is going to come from it? Instead, if or when you feel frustrated, treat it as an opportunity. How can you spin a negative situation into a positive one? Is there something that you can do to make it better? Are others feeling the same way as you?

Perhaps you can start a mastermind group to figure out ways to combat this. Or maybe you can develop an answer and monetize it. That way you are not only solving a problem for yourself, but also for others, and getting paid to do so. Maybe there is no true answer and you just need to work on handling your emotions better.

If you allow something to get you so worked up that it ruins your day, that’s on you. Either learn how to deal with it (emotionally) or create a solution for it. Whenever you’re frustrated, ask yourself, what can I do to make this better? Then go do it.

Be 100% where you’re supposed to be

When you’re at work, be at work. Have a work mentality. How can you be the best employer/employee, manager/leader, etc. Have your mind on your work. Focus on the task at hand.

When you’re at the gym, be at the gym. Have a gym mentality. How can you get better today than you were yesterday? Have your mind on the sets, reps, technique, movement, breath work, etc. Focus on the workout.

When you’re at home, be at home. Have a family mentality. How can you be the best husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, father/mother, brother/sister, pet-owner, friend, caretaker of the property, etc. Do you need to spend more time playing, reading, maintaining (the house), etc? Focus on being at home and leave the other stuff behind you.

Wherever your body is, make sure your mind is 100% there as well. Learn to compartmentalize your life. A “balanced” life is not being partially present in every aspect of life. It’s being fully present where you are and making sure you spend enough time with each aspect daily/weekly/monthly.

Strive for more problems

Each year, you should be lucky enough to have earned new problems. Hopefully, that means that you’ve grown so much in the past year that you are facing new challenges and a new set of problems.

If you get to the end of the year and you’re facing the same old problems you’ve faced in the past, you didn’t learn and grow from those enough in the past to be able to eliminate those now (or in the future).

Tackle your old and current problems. Make sure they never come back. But grow so much within this next year that you end up facing a new set of “problems.”

We don’t want a life completely void of challenges. That would be boring. We want obstacles to overcome. We feel good when we solve problems and feel like we’ve earned our success. Don’t be complacent. And don’t be upset when you face new problems…only be upset if you’re facing old problems.

10 tips for a happy life

To live a happy life, you need to do the following things:

1) Live in alignment with your values…if you do something that morally doesn’t sit well with you, it will haunt you. What do you value?

2) Only worry about what you can control. You can control your effort and behavior. You can control your thoughts and actions. You CAN’T control what other people think, say, or do. If you feel compelled, try to help them make what you deem “better decisions.” But realize you only can control yourself, no one else.

3) Understand that this moment is only temporary. Whether you’re expert the best or the worst day of your life, it’s temporary. Treasure the great days. Enjoy the time with your friends, your family, and even yourself. When something bad happens, understand that this is only a page (or a chapter) in your book. Tomorrow is a new day.

4) See the positive in any situation. Even when bad things happen, spin it around – how can you learn/grow from this?

5) Develop am attitude of gratitude. What you focus on grows. Focus on being positive and on seeing the positive, and your life will become more positive.

6) Don’t take life (or yourself) too seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Often, we place too much emphasis on what is happening right now. “What if I don’t get an ‘A’?” “What if ‘X, Y, or Z’ does/doesn’t happen?” In the end, you’ll realize that cumulatively, yes, it all adds up, but individually it really doesn’t matter. Will you be on your deathbed and regret not getting a better grade in 8th grade math?

7) Smile and laugh everyday. Do it as often as you can. It will make you feel better.

8) Be healthy. A healthy body and a healthy mind will help keep your mindset positive.

9) Surround yourself with others who are generally, and genuinely, happy. You are the average of the five people with who me you spend the most time.

10) Be yourself. Do what you feel is right. Don’t try to “keep up with the Joneses” or impress other people…other people will come and go. But you have to live with yourself until your dying days. Be you. Love you. And don’t care about what other people think.