Tag: philosophy

Being present

Enjoy your time in the present. You can’t change the past and if you dwell too much on it, you can fill your head with regret (from negative memories) or longing (from nostalgic memories). But regardless of what you’re thinking about, if you spend too much time on it, you’re not making new memories. Be present so you can strengthen your current relationships and create new, meaningful memories.

Just as you can’t change the past, you also cannot control the future. There are so many variables outside of what you can influence. Focusing too much on outside factors or on things that might happen can cause you to feel a lot of anxiety.

Once again, the key is to return to the present. You can only control the thoughts you tell yourself and actions you take today. And no matter how smart we think we are, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. Not only that, but we are not guaranteed to be here tomorrow. That’s why you have to balance your actions to maximize living your best life – setting up your future self to succeed, but also enjoying your life today.

Be present. Put things in perspective. It’s important to enjoy life today, to spend time with loved ones, to have regular conversations with friends, and to play a little each day. Life is good as long as you don’t let it overwhelm you.

Attributes

Below is a list of attributes I want for myself and to instill in my children:

Perseverance, optimistic, not easily discouraged/embarrassed, not afraid of failing, mentally and physically tough, setting a goal and working towards it, ok with asking questions, hungry to learn, love competition, focused on the most important next action steps, forward thinking, not procrastinating, curious, willing and able to give effort every day, love and enthusiasm for life, understand big picture concepts, think outside the box, grateful, happy, kind to others

And this is a list I want to avoid:

Complainer, negative, judgmental, rude, entitled, lazy, can’t think for yourself, not willing to try/learn new things

I’m sure there are more items I can add to both lists, but this is the general gist of what I strive for everyday. The other key is to surround yourself with people who share similar values. You become the average of the people you hang out with most. Don’t let it be someone who only brings negative drama to your life.

Changing priorities and opinions

People will change as a result of the circumstances that surround them. We all do, and we all should, as our priorities change.

If you are the same person now that you were 10 years ago, ask yourself, why? Are you still learning and growing? Do you only care for yourself or do you have others to care for now? It’s OK that people change over the years. If they didn’t, that wouldn’t be normal. I would hope that your beliefs from when you’re 18 years old and not allowed to legally drink change when you’re a 30-year old with kids, a 50-year old starting to think about retirement, or a 75-year old thinking about the future of your grandkids when you’re gone.

Your core values, morals, and ethics should be constant. But don’t demonize a person for changing their mind on specific topics. As they are presented more information, they should be receptive to changing their thoughts based on the new information they’ve received.

Giving an inch and taking a mile

There’s a common phrase which says, “give the man an inch and he’ll take a mile.” When you think about it, you can probably relate to this happening to you at some point. You tried to be nice, whether it was helping someone out by literally giving them something or maybe you “let them off the hook” when they didn’t do something, and next thing you know, they’re asking/taking more than you agreed to.

Well, don’t be mad at that metaphorical man because, guess what? You are that person too! I was thinking about this in regards to my own workouts, eating habits, and other self-improvement actions. I get up really early (I’m usually up by 3:15 a.m.) so I can get my workout in, read, write this blog, and get some real estate-related work done before anyone else in the house is up and moving. Sometimes my alarm clock goes off and I just want to sleep in. What’s the harm in missing one day of working out, right? That line of thinking (giving myself an inch) can lead to a slippery slope (taking a mile). One missed workout, just like one cheat day, one binge-watching session, one of anything in which you “treat yourself” can (and often does) lead to another. It feels good. It’s easier and more convenient in the short-term. But what’s best for short-term is often in conflict with what’s best for the long-term.

Whenever you feel like you “deserve” something, be on guard. That’s the most dangerous time! Keep putting in the hard work. It will be worth it in the long-run. Otherwise the habits you need most become like the stereotypical New Years resolution…forgotten after 45 days. Don’t get caught in the cycle of working hard for a month, and just when you are starting to make progress, stopping “temporarily” to give yourself a break. You’ll find that stopping feels good and you either never fully commit like you initially were or you never get started again.

We all want to take a mile when we give ourselves an inch. The key is to resist the temptation to take that given inch in the first place.

Voluntary hardship

Do hard things daily. Challenge your body by working out. Challenge your mind by reading and writing. Challenge your beliefs by being receptive to ideas from others who don’t have the same opinions as you. Take on that difficult project at work. Say no to eating out today and make something from a new recipe instead.

Experience voluntary hardship. It makes actual hardships easier and it puts life into perspective. Life is good. We just fail to properly appreciate it.