Tag: philosophy

Withholding judgment

Don’t hold other people to your standards. It’s their life, not yours. Be happy for them if they’re happy with the decisions they’ve made.

When you judge others based on their decisions, it is often coming from a place of resentment. Whether you resent them for doing something you wish you could do or whether you disagree with their lifestyle, either way, judging them won’t make them change and only presents downside to you. Judging others never brings you joy. Eliminate judging and complaining for a better day.

I get to enjoy my life (it’s a choice)

So much of your happiness in life is about how you frame the events around you. Jon Gordon talks about the power of positive thinking through mindset shifts. By telling yourself that you get to do something, not that you have to do it, you are reframing the same event by thinking of it as a positive experience instead of a negative one. It’s how you choose to think about it.

For example, say you just had a great weekend with your family and friends. But here comes Monday morning. You don’t want to go to work. But instead of thinking, “I have to go to work today and I don’t want to,” reframe it to think how you get to go to work and make a living, when others are physically or mentally unable to do so.

Or say you are thinking about skipping the gym. You hate having to work out. Once again, that’s the wrong attitude. Instead, choose to think about how you get to work out so you can live a longer, healthier life.

You get to give your kids a bath, when some people want kids of their own but can’t have them…

You get to go to your parents house for dinner, when other people have lost one or both parents…

The examples are never ending, but no matter the circumstances, it always comes down to how you think about the event/task/situation. It is always a choice for you to make – to be content/grateful or to be upset.

Next time you find yourself thinking that you have to do something, stop and say, “no, I get to do this.” Retrain you’re thought process. Start thinking about how lucky you are. Don’t take things for granted and the happiness you experience in life will improve.

Fitting in? Or being different?

“Different is better when it is more effective or more fun.” – Tim Ferriss

Embrace being different. Everyone is different in their own ways, but don’t be different just to get attention. Be different because you actually believe in what you’re doing and saying. Be different because that’s the real you and you are enjoying being yourself. Do things differently than the majority because you are striving to improve your life in some sense. Why would you try to be the same as everyone else? Why blend in with the crowd to the point where you’re completely unnoticed?

“Tetris teaches us that when you try to fit in, you’ll disappear.” – Alexus Pajitnov

I love one quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger. He said, “The worst thing I could be is the same as everyone else.” I believe that. Let’s look at some stats to see what “everyone else” is doing and why it’s better for your health to do the opposite…

The United States has an obesity rate of about ~35% and has an additional ~35% of the population is considered overweight. So you are considered to be overweight if you’re the “average” U.S. citizen. Why are we getting so big? If you listen to what everyone usually says, it’s because they have no time to work out or that eating healthy is too expensive.

Well, according to a Nielsen report, in 2017, the average citizen watched about 4 hours of tv per day! Yet somehow they have “no time” to work out, to cook a healthy meal, or to work on our physical fitness in a meaningful way.

Why would you want to follow the herd in this case? Why be “normal?” People will think that you’re weird if you work out daily, if you order a salad when going out to eat, or if you’re not up to speed on the latest Netflix series. You need to be ok with that. Because you aren’t being different just to be “weird.” You’re being different because you have found a better way to improve your life…a way that is more effective AND more fun.

People will call you crazy (sometimes to your face, other times behind your back). But who cares what other people think about YOUR life? Who should care the most about the quality of your life? You. And who can influence the outcome of your life the most? You. Don’t live your life only seeking the approval of others, otherwise you’ll never be happy.

Capacities

Be careful not to judge other people’s capacity to do/withstand something. Not only are there different types of capacities/limits, such as mental, physical, or emotional capacities, but everyone is different in what their capacities are for each type. For example, you may be incredibly strong physically, but maybe you’re overburdened at home and your emotional capacity is very low.

Another thing to realize is our capacities are fluid, as they are constantly changing depending on what is going on in our lives. Maybe you just lost your job, your significant other decided to leave you (taking the dog too), and you were diagnosed with cancer. While your emotional capacity may normally be very high, you would probably be at the tipping point where even something very small which would normally not affect you makes you break down and cry.

These are just a couple of reasons why you should not judge others, but especially if you don’t have a good understanding of who they are and what their typical capacities/capabilities are. What you see from others is only a snapshot for where they are at any one particular time in their life.

Instead of judging others before you really get to know them, default to giving people the benefit of the doubt. They can be down one day, or even for a brief period in time, but after you’ve gotten to know them and their story, eventually you will have a better understanding of what their typical capacities are.

Just like anything else, we all have the ability to strengthen and improve each capacity. Are you working on improving yours? If you’re working with someone, or partnering with them, do you know if they are willing to work on improving theirs? You should not focus on where you (or others) are currently, but on where you (and they) are going based on their daily actions.

Cutting corners

“How you do one thing is how you do everything.”

If you cut corners in one area of your life, it is much easier to justify cutting corners in other areas as well. Don’t give yourself permission to cheat in anything, no matter how trivial, otherwise it may lead you down a slippery slope to cheat on big things later. Even if you do something that isn’t considered cheating, is it reflecting your best work? Is there a cleaner, better, or more effective way of doing something and you just don’t want to put in the effort to do it correctly?

Practice doing things the “right way.” (Note: there are several correct ways to do things, you have to try to be objective in determining what is the best way to do something.) Don’t give into the temptation of doing what is easy, or if cutting corners when nobody is looking. Because if you do that, eventually it will erode you’re standards in everything you do. Remember, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Choose your actions wisely.