Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
Focus on finishing one task before moving on to the next one.
In today’s ADHD world, it’s easy to get distracted by new ideas or to think you can multitask effectively, but the truth is if you are constantly chasing after two dissimilar goals, you’re unlikely to accomplish either of them.
Some of us set goals (or have New Years resolutions) and feel like we did something just by writing them down.
Some of us start out with good intentions to accomplish the goals we wrote down, but when motivation wanes, when things get tough, or life gets in the way, we conveniently forget about our goals or discard them.
Some of us accomplish our New Years resolutions early in the year, not because we’re overachievers, but because we set the bar too low (almost like a checklist that has “brush teeth” on it).
And some of us achieve our goals and then relax or return to bad habits to celebrate the accomplishment. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating wins (big and small), and I actually think it’s important to note how far you’ve come. But don’t get complacent. Don’t celebrate too long or get too far off-track. It’s time to get back to work. Just because you’ve accomplished a goal doesn’t mean you’re finished. After all, you’re still alive, right? Everyday, you can get better. Strive to be better than who you were yesterday.
Part of winning is not being afraid of losing, of looking dumb, of not being “the best” at something…you have to keep pushing your limits. If you want to continue winning in life, you must always be learning and improving. You may be naturally good at certain things, but if you don’t work to improve your game, everyone around you will catch and surpass you.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Don’t let fear overcome you. Just go out and get to work.
1) “You always/you never”…Usually, when we use this phrase, we’re blaming someone for something. You always do this thing wrong. You never do this thing right…when in reality, that’s just not true. They may do something that irritates you, but you need to do a better job of explaining to them why it upsets you. If they don’t change (and even if they do, they’ll still likely forget from time to time), do your best to let it go. You’ve said your piece. You can’t force someone to do something.
2) “Why do you/why are you”…I’m only referring to using this in an accusatory tone of voice. “Why are you ___?” instantly puts whomever you’re questioning in a defensive position (much like the “you always/never phrase above). Instead, try to ask them how they’re feeling, if anything is wrong, what their thought process was that caused them to feel/act that way, etc.
3) “I have to”…You technically don’t have to do anything. You get to do that thing. Work on being more grateful for the opportunity to do it. You get to go to work today – to earn a living, to accomplish a task, to pay for food/water/shelter, etc. Change your attitude.
4) “I can’t”…Your mind is a powerful thing. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll believe it. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So while you may be unable to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always be able to not do it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask yourself “how can I?”
5) “That’s impossible”…See the paragraph above for “I can’t.” There are some things that don’t seem possible, but if someone else has achieved it, you already know that it is possible. Plus, how many times has the human race done something that most people thought was impossible (like sailing around the world, flying in an airplane, going to space, etc)?
6) “You make me”…Once again, this is a very accusatory statement and will likely escalate the argument rather than diffuse it. But you should also remember that you have to take responsibility for how you feel. If someone “makes you mad,” do you not have any control over your own emotions? If not, you can be easily manipulated by anyone who knows how to push your buttons. Change your attitude/perspective.
How will we ever know what our limit is until we hit it?
Sometimes you have to fall down to get back up and reach a higher point. Many times you have to fail before you get to success.
If we consistently fail, learn, try again, fail less, learn more, try again, master one subject, try something related but new, fail, learn, and keep repeating the process, we can’t help but to maximize our potential. We will likely never truly maximize what we’re capable of doing, but I think it’s a worthy endeavor to try our best.