philosophy | The Caleb Barney Collection

Leadership and making mistakes…

Give people permission to make mistakes and the obligation to learn from them.

We all make mistakes – always have and always will. Think back to a time when you were young and impressionable, when you were inexperienced at something…when you wade a mistake, did your teacher/mentor/parent berate you for making a mistake? If they did (and you consistently received this negative feedback), you may still carry some of that baggage with you today. You might be too scared to take any chances at all, for fear of “messing up.” But if you never try anything new because you might make a mistake, you’ll severely limit your growth. You are capable of so much, but you will often have to try and fail many things before building off of those experiences.

If you’re in a position of “power,” whether that’s being an employer, boss, manager, parent, mentor, role model, teacher, coach, etc., make sure you let those around you know that it’s ok to make mistakes! They shouldn’t be happy that they made a mistake and should always try to learn and grow from their mistakes, but despite their best intentions, sometimes they still will slip up. (We all do.)

Make sure you’re creating an environment that knows people have permission to make mistakes, but the obligation to learn from them.

Default: Forgiveness

Train yourself to default to forgiveness. If someone offends you or if they’ve wronged you, have it planned ahead of time that you will forgive them. Rise above your circumstances.

If you hold a grudge, it’s only hurting yourself. Let go. That doesn’t mean that you should forget what happened. But you should use what you learned from that experience and move forward. You may trust someone less, but holding hate in your heart will slowly destroy you.

Searching for peace? Then do this!

If you want peace and tranquillity, focus on saying “no” to more things and doing less. Be selective with what you give your time, energy, and money to. Focus on what’s essential. Ask yourself: what makes the most positive impact on your life from a mental, social/relational, spiritual, financial, and physical standpoint? How can you keep doing those things (or if you’re not doing enough of those, how can you do it more often)?

On the flip side, what are the biggest/most negative stressors in your life? What are things that need to be done, but maybe not by you or not right now? How can you eliminate or minimize those?

Lastly, stop feeling like you’re obligated to say yes to everything. If it excites you and is good for you, say yes! If it needs to be done by you, even if it doesn’t excite you, say yes. But if it doesn’t, you can just as easily decide to say no if that’s what you really want to do.

New information is an invitation to question old opinions

It’s ok to have an opinion on something even if you’re not an expert in that field. But to keep that opinion (whether it be informed or uninformed) may not be logical once new information comes to light.

You should focus on having the right answer, even if that means you were wrong before. Strive to be right as often as possible, but don’t stick with your original opinion that you know is wrong just so you don’t have to say you were wrong before. Everyone is wrong about many things over the course of their lifetimes. But the ones who are generally viewed as the smartest and most successful are the ones who are able to admit when they’re wrong and to move forward when they are presented with more recent information.

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do

Actions mean more than words. You can say you’re going to do x, y, and z, but if you don’t follow through, your words ring hollow. You begin to lose credibility with your peers. Maybe you have great intentions to actually do what you say, but in the end, what people remember is if you actually did the deed. So whether it is a personal goal of yours (I’m going to work out 5+ days/week), a professional goal (I’m going to call 5+ connections per day), or even relationally (telling your friends you’ll meet them out and then not showing up), if you say you’ll do something and don’t do it, people will eventually stop believing you.

Ultimately, you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. What is holding you back? Today, and each day moving forward, make a commitment to follow through on what you say AND to do the things to be the person you want to become.