Tag: positivity

Receiving feedback

Hearing feedback can be really tough. Oftentimes, it can take us by surprise and we get defensive about it. But we need feedback to grow. Usually, there is at least a kernel of truth in what the other person is telling us. Instead of automatically justifying why you did/said what you did, just listen. Refrain from responding until the person is done talking. But don’t do one of those, “mhmm…ok…” almost like a “hurry-up and get it over with” verbal prodding. Stay open (watch out for negative body language). Then, after the sting of hearing what you need to hear, repeat back to them (or rephrase what you heard). If you and that person are on the same page, that’s probably a good thing. Finally, take their feedback and use it to make you a better person. Even if you don’t fully agree with what they’ve said, try to make small tweaks or improvements. None of us are perfect, so we at least know that we can slightly improve.

Brene Brown’s 3 key phrases to remember when receiving feedback…

⁃ “I’m brave enough to listen.”

⁃ “There’s something valuable here. Take what works and leave the rest.”

⁃ “Feedback is the path to mastery.”

Five things to always work on for self-improvement

Things to always work on…

1) Do not get defensive. If someone is critical of you, listen to them. There is probably at least a grain of truth that you are blind to.

2) Do not make excuses. If something didn’t go your way or there was an accident, sincerely apologize. Don’t diminish your apology by then giving an excuse for why it wasn’t your fault. Some things will always be outside of your control, so focus only on what you can influence.

3) Eliminate can’t from your vocabulary. Sure, there are some things we literally can’t do (I can’t teleport, read minds, or fly). But, for the most part, when we say we “can’t” do something, it’s because we’re not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to do that thing. It’s more like we won’t do that or we haven’t prioritized that.

4) Be nicer. Treat others how they would like to be treated. Find ways to help others get what they want.

5) Do not avoid difficult situations/conversations. Life is full of tough decisions. The best way to live without regret is to have the courage to face your fears. Always act in alignment with your core values.

Realistically optimistic

Make the best of any situation. That doesn’t mean that you have to view every situation as a positive one. But it does mean that you should not dwell on the negative or on what you cannot change…

You CAN be an optimist and a realist at the same time. They do not have to be mutually exclusive. Being realistic is very important. But a lot of people don’t realize what they’re actually capable of and they view things as being “unrealistic” or out of reach when really they just haven’t found the right way to get what they want yet.

Figure out a way how to make a bad situation better. Do not be easily overcome when things don’t go your way. Stop saying, “I can’t do it.” Instead, ask, “How can I do it?”

How our thoughts make our reality

The world reflects your own feelings back to you. Reality is neutral. Nothing is “good or bad,” but our thoughts make it so.

Change your thoughts and you can change your life. Not only can you make things better or worse by what you do, but also what you say, think, and feel. Shift your mindset to a positive one, where every setback is another opportunity to learn and grow, and where every success is a stepping stone to greater achievement. Choose to be happy and helpful. Choose to not let others’ actions or words affect you, unless you it is to have a positive affect on you.

Random thoughts

A few simple tips to live by…

Be kind, but don’t be a pushover.

Be content, but never stop striving to be better.

Be humble in winning, but gracious in losing.

Be confident, but not arrogant.

Be a good listener, but don’t be afraid to speak up.

Forgive, but don’t forget.

Find a way to positively contribute to others every single day.

Lastly, don’t pay attention to how others think or feel about you. That’s their issue. This is not to confuse being mean or rude to others. Do what you believe to be right, which includes treating others with respect and being nice. But don’t change who you are or how you act because you think people will respond better to it. Most people will like you more for being genuine, which means you’ll make mistakes sometimes, but at least you’re not a robot. At least you’ll be real. And if you do make a mistake or realize you’ve wronged someone, own up to it. Apologize.