Don’t confuse pride with ego. They are very similar in many respects, but the difference is pride is used in a way to make you perform better, whereas ego is often something that hinders performance.
For example, with pride you hold certain standards for yourself and you want to live up to them. What you have accomplished or overcome in the past is a result of a mixture of work ethic, attitude, specific intelligence, talent, and luck. It is a non-malicious, self-centered vantage point. You take pride in doing things a certain way because others can expect good results when they come to you. If you are on a team and others do not have the same values are you, it can leave you frustrated because you feel your name (and the results that come with it) may be tarnished if you don’t live up to the hype. Pride can get in your way, but for the most part it is good to have a sense of pride in what you do and how you do it.
With ego, you are more concerned with your reputation than you care about what you do or how you do it. You view yourself as someone of importance and feel a sense of deserved respect. When ego gets in the way, it’s because you believe yourself and your opinions matter more than others – everything you do is right and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. Instead of being able to take criticism or compromise on issues, ego can cause you to dig deeper and take a stand. Ego doesn’t let you see the other person’s point of view.
Don’t let ego get in your way. If you disagree with someone, try to detach from the situation and understand where they are coming from. Why are they acting the way they are? Even if you end up disagreeing after you’ve heard them out, take the time to really listen to them, to make them feel understood, and talk with them. Don’t yell at them, try to silence/intimidate them, or wait for your turn to make a point/talk at them. The world needs to calm down. The more compassionate we are, the better off we will be.
(P.S. Compassion doesn’t mean “giving in” to an opposing viewpoint…listening is compassionate. And if you still disagree, disagree respectfully and treat them how you would want to be treated.)
