relationships | The Caleb Barney Collection

Be 100% where you’re supposed to be

When you’re at work, be at work. Have a work mentality. How can you be the best employer/employee, manager/leader, etc. Have your mind on your work. Focus on the task at hand.

When you’re at the gym, be at the gym. Have a gym mentality. How can you get better today than you were yesterday? Have your mind on the sets, reps, technique, movement, breath work, etc. Focus on the workout.

When you’re at home, be at home. Have a family mentality. How can you be the best husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, father/mother, brother/sister, pet-owner, friend, caretaker of the property, etc. Do you need to spend more time playing, reading, maintaining (the house), etc? Focus on being at home and leave the other stuff behind you.

Wherever your body is, make sure your mind is 100% there as well. Learn to compartmentalize your life. A “balanced” life is not being partially present in every aspect of life. It’s being fully present where you are and making sure you spend enough time with each aspect daily/weekly/monthly.

Chasing money

What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? – Mark 8:36

As a competitive, ambitious, frugal, investor-minded individual who comes from humble beginnings, this graphic speaks to me.

The competitive side of me wants to be in the top 1% of everything I do (including financial-related goals).

The ambitious side of me wants to prove to myself, my family and friends, my acquaintances, etc. that I can do anything I set my mind to.

The frugal side of me wants to have the financial security money can bring.

The investor side of me hates waste and focuses on being as efficient as possible (like investing in assets and having my money work for me).

But when I think about what’s really important in life and what brings me the most joy, it’s not money…

I’m happiest when I’m hanging out with family – whether that’s at home, going on mini adventures to the zoo, watching our kids hang out with their cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents, or going on our yearly trips to Mohican, Hocking Hills, or the beach.

I’m happiest when I’m working out and competing with friends at the gym (whether or not they know I’m competing with them is up for debate).

I’m happiest seeing friends and playing board games with them for game night or going out and grabbing something to eat.

I’m happiest finding people homes to live in or to invest in and negotiating the best terms for them.

And when I think about all that makes me happy, I realize that I don’t need to always be chasing 💸…life is easier with money, to be sure. But as long as I’m keeping things in perspective and still able to enjoy life while pursuing money, that will be enough for me.

Don’t lose your family, friends, or health chasing money. Because in the end, what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?

Leadership and development

“The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” – Charles Schwab

If you want to bring out the best in people, you must work on how you communicate with them. Here are some quick tips:

Be firm, but fair.

Be gracious.

When they do something good, reinforce that behavior by praising them for their effort.

Show your appreciation for them and provide encouragement.

Help them develop a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset.

If they haven’t done something right, it’s a learning experience, not a failure.

They can get to where we need them to be with the right attitude, practice, and learning from their mistakes (and the mistakes of others).

Occasionally, you may need to push them a little. People like their comfort zone. But if they want to reach their full potential, they will need to go outside of it.

Hold them accountable. If they say they’re going to do something, check in with them to make sure they’re on track to complete it. If they need help, you can help them brainstorm, but don’t just give them the answer. If you do this then they will always bring their problems to you and not try to think of solutions on their own.

Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers

“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” – Harry Truman

Why do you think this is? Well, it’s because if you’re taking the time to read, you’re doing the following:

⁃ Working on self-improvement/learning…books are condensed versions of life lessons taught by others more experienced than yourself (or at least with different experiences than yourself). If you can read about someone else’s failures, you do not have to suffer that same hardship and can propel yourself to greater heights more quickly.

⁃ Making your mind work…a lazy mind will not go far in life. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

⁃ Dedicated enough to read when you could be doing something easier (like watching tv or napping). Those with enough dedication, determination, and will-power to do what they know will help take them to where they want to go are far more likely to succeed.

– NOT all readers are leaders partially because it also depends on what you’re reading. If you’re reading romance novels, that is less likely to translate to a position of leadership compared to if you’re reading a book on business, relationships, leadership, parenting, etc.

Leadership and making mistakes…

Give people permission to make mistakes and the obligation to learn from them.

We all make mistakes – always have and always will. Think back to a time when you were young and impressionable, when you were inexperienced at something…when you wade a mistake, did your teacher/mentor/parent berate you for making a mistake? If they did (and you consistently received this negative feedback), you may still carry some of that baggage with you today. You might be too scared to take any chances at all, for fear of “messing up.” But if you never try anything new because you might make a mistake, you’ll severely limit your growth. You are capable of so much, but you will often have to try and fail many things before building off of those experiences.

If you’re in a position of “power,” whether that’s being an employer, boss, manager, parent, mentor, role model, teacher, coach, etc., make sure you let those around you know that it’s ok to make mistakes! They shouldn’t be happy that they made a mistake and should always try to learn and grow from their mistakes, but despite their best intentions, sometimes they still will slip up. (We all do.)

Make sure you’re creating an environment that knows people have permission to make mistakes, but the obligation to learn from them.