Tag: relationships

Compound interest – thought about in another way

“All the benefits in life come from compound interest — money, relationships, habits — anything of importance.” – Naval Ravikandt

If you want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, you’re not just going to work out really hard for three months then have the body of a champion bodybuilder. You have to put in the time and effort for the long haul. The same applies to nearly anything in life. To become a master of anything, you must treat your training (and habits) as if you are running a marathon. Improve little by little. Improve just 1% consistently, working towards your goals everyday and you will go further than most of those around you. If you want to write a book, start by writing a chapter, a paragraph, a single sentence. Every journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.

If you want to be the best mom/dad, it’s not about taking your children on that one vacation each year and then not really seeing them throughout the rest of the year. Instead, it’s about your daily interactions with them.

It’s not what you do once, but it’s the “compound interest” from your efforts over time that will make you rich.

Be judicious with your words

You can always say something that you haven’t said. But you can never undo or unsay something that you have already said.

Be careful with your words. Be thoughtful, kind, and uplifting. It may feel good to say what’s on your mind, but it could be potentially damaging to your long-term relationships. Learn to bite your tongue and tactfully say what you need to say, when you need to say it.

This is not to say you can’t thoughtfully critique anyone (especially those you care for). If you don’t speak up, how can they make a change? But don’t say something in the heat of the moment, or else you may regret how it comes out – and what is said cannot be unsaid.

You don’t always have to be right.

You don’t always have to be right. This is important to remember because not only will you be wrong (a lot), but always needing to be right is very off putting.

Let the little things go. Choose which hill you want to die on, which battle you want to fight…this is something I’ve been bad at doing. I use “facts” and “evidence” to support my position. But winning each little battle (argument, debate, etc.) is less important than winning the war (maintaining/improving your overall relationship with that person/people). Not only that, but when you only speak up for the things that truly matter to you, those things will be more likely to be heard and changed, as opposed to nitpicking every little thing, which will eventually fall on deaf ears.

The need to always be right is a short-sighted way of thinking about things. Instead, bite your tongue about trivial matters. When you feel strongly/passionately about something, that’s when you speak up. But not before then…

Management

If you are in a position to manage others, there are two major mistakes to avoid. The first is micromanaging. If you have capable people working for/with you, they have good ethics, they have produced results in the past, and they know what the near-term and long-term goals are for themselves and the company are, do not constantly be looking over their shoulder. Don’t step on their toes! Let them do what they know best. But it’s good to keep the lines of communication open. You should still have regular check-ins to see how they’re doing, if they need help/another opinion on how to do something, etc. When you micromanage, you take away not only their sense of autonomy, but you also remove accountability from them. After all, they are only following your orders when you tell them every single thing to do.

The opposite is also a problem though, which is to becomes so hands-off that those you are managing don’t think you know what’s going on. If you’re not present, don’t talk with them regularly, or aren’t in any meetings with them, when you go to make a suggestion they are much more likely to disregard your suggestions. You become an outsider at that point, not a team member, a leader, or a manager.

Aim to strike a healthy balance between the two forms of communication. Guide them, but let them be the heroes. Ask them questions so they can think of how to improve a situation. Monitor their results and be prepared to step in if you feel they will do something that may have catastrophic/irreversible results. But, ultimately, keep in mind that people will work hardest for you when they like what they do, when they’re engaged/interested, when there is mutual respect between themselves, their manager, and their co-workers, and when they feel you have their back.