Tag: respect

Listen

Learn to listen. You can’t listen if you’re talking at the same time as the person who you’re supposedly conversing with. You can’t listen if you’re only thinking about what you’re going to say next. For conversation to be meaningful, you need to talk and listen.

Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages) writes that “Listening begins with attitude. If I choose to believe every person I encounter has inherent dignity and value, meaning their thoughts and feelings are important, then I am prepared to listen. If I think the world revolves around me, that my ideas are all that counts, then why should I listen to anyone else? Many people don’t have a communication problem; they have an attitude problem.”

We can all work on improving our attitude! Part of having a good attitude includes being generous (not just with money, but also your time), being optimistic (yet realistic), and loving/caring for others.

Facing difficulties

If you are afraid, that probably means you should do it.

What are you afraid of? A difficult conversation? That’s probably going to happen regardless of whether you try to avoid it or not. And if it doesn’t happen, what are the odds that it actually works out in your favor? Instead, the opposite may be true and you have to live with the regret of not acting or of not saying something just because you didn’t want to feel uncomfortable in that moment.

You will gain more respect for yourself and others will have more respect for you if you face challenging moments head-on. If you are the type of person that always runs away when things get difficult, do you really think that will make you feel better about yourself?

Everyone has fears. But how we respond to those fears is what makes the man/woman. It takes courage to face your fears. Will you answer the call?

Prioritize relationships

Prioritize relationships.

Don’t let your pride or ego get in the way. What’s more important? Always being right? Or maintaining a healthy relationship?

When you are on your deathbed, what is your more likely regret? Tarnishing your relationship with others over something so small that you may or may not even remember? Make sure that you are focusing on what is really important in life.

How to lose

Don’t let your competitive side get the best of you. It’s fun to win. It sucks to lose. But keep things in perspective. Unless your livelihood or your family’s livelihood depends on you winning this game/earning the contract (whether in sports or in business), it’s probably not worth losing your cool over.

Don’t flip the monopoly board, throw the controller, or punch a wall because you lost. Everyone loses something in life. That’s just how life works. If you’re not losing in something then you aren’t pushing yourself to play against the proper competition.

When you lose, lose with dignity. You’ll maintain respect. If you lose and act like a child? People will lose respect for you.

Empathy as a starting point for negotiation

Listening shows empathy. When people feel listened to and understood, they are more likely to work with you. You can work in tandem towards a common goal (or at least a compromise) much easier if you start out by showing that you are listening to them.

When you truly listen to somebody and they can feel you are listening to them, it’s a sign of respect. That’s why you have to start out with empathy and active listening to obtain the best results in any negotiation or sales process. It’s important to use both empathy and active listening throughout any conversation, but especially at the start, because first impressions really do count for something. Don’t dig yourself into a hole before you really get started by disrespecting the other person/party.

You have to understand what it is that the other side wants. What is the issue they want solved in order to provide the best response. What is their pain point and how we can alleviate their pain?

If you go in with the same sales pitch every single time, it may work in certain situations, but your solution may be completely wrong for them in other situations. Listen, dig deeper, and empathize with what they are feeling to show respect and to get further in negotiations.

Go into every negotiation or sales pitch with one thing in mind: How can we make this a win-win situation so both sides leave happy, nobody leaves holding a grudge over the other side, and you don’t hurt yourself in future business with that person or their friends?