response | The Caleb Barney Collection

Pause before acting (when you’re afraid)

Whenever you are afraid, try to take a step back before making a decision. Before you decide to act or not act, try to remove yourself from the situation. If a friend came to you with a problem asking for your advice, what would you tell them?

Do not make your decision based on the fears that you have. Make your decision based on what you feel is right. What would you be proud of either doing or saying in that moment.

Would you be embarrassed to tell your parents, siblings, friends, significant other, or children about how you acted or reacted in that moment. If you are embarrassed of it, why? Is it because you did not act with courage? Is it because you acted in a way that didn’t align with your values?

Never act or react solely out of fear.

A calm mind = a strong mind

“**The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”** – Marcus Aurelius

If someone knows how to push your buttons, to get you worked up and out of sorts just by something little that they say or do, they can easily manipulate you. The less reactive you can be, the more power you can have. If you take a moment to pause, you can choose your response – to let things go, to address them calmly and respectfully, or to be stern and forceful. But the key here is you are making the decision on how to respond. That is strength. Reaction to an event is not.

Don’t react out of anger

“In your anger do not sin.” – Ephesians 4:26.

Don’t act when you’re angry, as you are far more likely to do something you will regret. If you say something or do something, guess what? You can’t take it back. Don’t potentially ruin a relationship, a career, or a life by acting out of anger. Control yourself. Understand your emotions. Come back and address it once you’ve had time to calm down and think about it in a reasonable way.

Choose your mood

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

Have you ever noticed something that triggers one person and puts them in “a mood” for the rest of the day, but a similar event has no affect on a different person? Why is that?

It seems like some people are predisposed to being angry at the smallest things – letting everything around them affect how they’re feeling at that moment. But it really doesn’t have to be that way. In most cases, it only takes a mindset shift to live a happier, less stressful life. Obviously there are things that happen to us that are very serious. Thinking positively doesn’t necessarily make the situation all better, but it’s still the better choice to make rather than dwelling on the negative. Regardless of how do you think about the situation, you probably can’t control those outside events and you can’t change the past. But you can control how you respond to them.

Choose to be happy and see the good in every situation. Why would you want to choose to be anything other than happy?

Power, choice, and feelings

Don’t let others’ words control how you feel or react.

I saw this quote on LinkedIn and decided that I wanted to talk about it a little more. I completely agree with this sentiment…

If you allow other people’s words or actions determine if you are happy, sad, mad, or anything in between, you’re in for a roller coaster of emotions in life. You can’t control what they say or do, and if you react to everything, you’re giving them the power to “make” you feel a certain way.

But the truth is, only you get to decide whether or not you feel happy or not. Keep that power for yourself – do not give it away to others who may or may not be thinking about how their actions might affect you physically or psychologically.

Practice what Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor, neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, and author) called SPR – Stimulus, Pause, Response. He said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Be free. Choose to be happy or choose to be mad. But make sure it is you who is making that choice, and not someone else choosing for you.