Tag: responsibility

Training in the workplace: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

When you’re in charge of training someone, the only thing you can do is give them an opportunity to perform. You can show them what is required to thrive in their specific role – what they need to do, best practices, etc. – but you can’t make them do it. You can spend hours explaining the tactics of a position, but you can’t teach someone to have passion, to be curious, or to have a better work ethic. But if they don’t want to do it, or if they just don’t understand/aren’t picking it up quickly enough, you can’t force them to do what you would do. If it’s not working, eventually you will have to do something about it.

Be careful to not make an emotional decision about this. Be objective, but be kind. Are they just not doing something the way that you would do it, but they’re still getting the job done? Is their performance still acceptable? Are they making big enough strides where, even though they aren’t where you need them to be right now, they’re on their way to becoming what you need from them?

After you remove emotions and give their work an honest evaluation, talk with others who know the situation. Make sure you emphasize that they give you their true opinions about the work being completed by the person in question. It’s not about the individual. It should always be about the work and how it affects those around them. Many people are careful to criticize because they like the person they are evaluating or because they fear the other person will find out. But if they don’t let their true feelings be known, they are doing a disservice to the company and even to the individual. After all, maybe this isn’t what the individual wants. Maybe it’s not fulfilling for them and that is why they are not putting in the extra effort to learn and excel at their craft.

Ultimately, you must determine if you’ve done everything in your power (as the trainer/mentor) to help that person succeed. Do they only need to make a few adjustments or is it time to move on? Did you lead them to water? If so, it’s up to them to decide to drink…

Responding to what happens to us

There is a great quote by Charles Swindoll in which he says, “life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.” The numbers are made up, but that’s not the point. The point is that we can’t control the world around us, but we can control our actions/reactions to life events. Trying to control what other people say, do, or think is a waste of energy. Trying to control a situation that is out of your hands or dealing with an event that might or might not happen in the future isn’t going to help. Don’t let the surrounding events dictate your life.

For past events, accept that what has happened has already happened. You can’t change the past, no matter how hard you want to. If it’s something that you did wrong, you can’t take back what you did. But you can apologize and make sure that you don’t do it again. If it was someone who wronged you, you can choose to forgive them or not. I’d choose to forgive though, because why carry around the negative feelings? It probably doesn’t affect the other person the way that you’re letting it affect you. You’re giving them power over you even after they have wronged you.

For events happening right now, you can only act with what information you have at hand. Do what you think is right, what feels right, and try not to live with any regrets. You won’t do things perfectly. And in the future you might chalk it up to being young and dumb, but that’s ok. Grow from your experiences. If you honestly believe that you’re doing what’s best (and trying to be empathetic if your actions will affect others), you’re more likely to be ok with your current decisions later in life.

For future events, develop plans. I will do Plan A if X happens and I will do Plan B if Y happens, etc etc. These should be general plans because nothing will ever happen exactly as you lay it out in your plan. But if you have a general idea of what you’ll do if certain things happen, you’re more likely to respond in a more productive way to the future circumstances because you’ve at least given it a little thought. You never know what the future will bring, but once again, life is only 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.

Ultimately, we are more responsible for the outcome of our lives than we tend to believe. Sometimes it feels like things are happening “to us” instead of “for us,” but the actions we take/don’t take often will have a far greater impact on our lives than the events surrounding us. Don’t be the victim in your life story. Be the victor. Conquer life’s challenges and keep working to be the solution as the world presents more problems to you.