Prioritize what is important to you. Every decision you make has short-term and long-term consequences. Most of the time, if you can do what’s best for the long-term, you will eventually win. Sometimes that means delaying gratification (not doing what is fun/feels good right now). Dave Ramsey calls that maturity.
Tag: self-improvement
I don’t have time…
Saying “I don’t have time” is just another way of saying “it’s not a priority.”
Whatever you’re talking about that you “don’t have enough time for” is not important enough yet, otherwise you would make time for it. A lot of people say that they “want” something (a better body, a healthier mindset, to start a business, write a book, etc.), but they don’t invest the time and effort to do what is necessary to achieve what they want. You may wish that you have those things/you’ve done those things, but you don’t want it badly enough to actually go do it.
“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn
My biggest fear…is it really what I think?
Many people fear failing, and I know it is one of my biggest fears as well. That’s what I’ve always told myself before, anyways. But after thinking about it more, am I afraid of actually failing or am I afraid of looking like a failure to others? There is a difference…
When you actually fear failing, you’ll often get stuck in “paralysis by analysis” mode, where you procrastinate taking any action for fear that the action you take is the wrong one. The irony is that this fear to fail often keeps you from even trying to get what you want. But if you don’t try it, you guarantee you won’t get it. In that sense, you have ensured failure, just not publicly.
So is it really failure you’re afraid of or is it the perception of failing? Sometimes you are held back from doing something or saying something because you think others will look down on you. Are you ok with asking questions and letting other know that you are not processing the information they’ve given to you? Are you ok with trying something new, with no guarantees of succeeding, if you think others will judge you for it? That’s the difference between being afraid to fail versus being afraid to look like a failure.
Next time you find that you aren’t pursuing a goal or a passion, ask yourself this…What is more important – what other people think of you (when they see you try and fail) or what you think of yourself (never publicly trying something/never “failing” in front of others, but ask never achieving your actual goal)?
Changing priorities and opinions
People will change as a result of the circumstances that surround them. We all do, and we all should, as our priorities change.
If you are the same person now that you were 10 years ago, ask yourself, why? Are you still learning and growing? Do you only care for yourself or do you have others to care for now? It’s OK that people change over the years. If they didn’t, that wouldn’t be normal. I would hope that your beliefs from when you’re 18 years old and not allowed to legally drink change when you’re a 30-year old with kids, a 50-year old starting to think about retirement, or a 75-year old thinking about the future of your grandkids when you’re gone.
Your core values, morals, and ethics should be constant. But don’t demonize a person for changing their mind on specific topics. As they are presented more information, they should be receptive to changing their thoughts based on the new information they’ve received.
Jealousy, privilege, and comparison
Before you make a jealous statement, “they’re so lucky that ____” or “it must be easy because of ____”, truly think to yourself the amount of work that that individual put in to get to where they are. There really are not many “overnight successes.”
And for those who inherited wealth or were put in a better position to start than you? Consider yourself the lucky one. You have gone through trials and tribulations that they have not, and it has forged you into the person you are today.
There will always be someone better off than you just like there will always be others worse off than you, yet you don’t consider yourself privileged. Take a step back and look in the mirror. If you’re reading this on a computer, how “lucky” are you? If you live in the United States, how lucky are you? If you have your eyesight and can hear, how lucky are you? Do you have four limbs? How lucky are you? People tend to downplay the “luck” that played a role in how they got to where they are today, yet they emphasize it in others’ success.
“I’m a self-made person” you say. But, in reality, everyone has had help along the way. Some have had more help than others. But you’ve had more help than plenty of others as well. Remember that.
Finally, stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t matter where they are or where they’re going. You can’t control that. But you can influence the direction of your life by the decisions you make each and every day. Work to get 1% better every single day and you’ll be amazed by the results in 1 year, 10 years, and beyond.