Tag: self-improvement

Short term sacrifices for long term gains

Everybody has their own “thing” that they want right now – something that makes them feel good or gives them joy in some way. And while we should always work at being happy, we should also prioritize our future selves over our current selves more often than not. If you always live for optimum happiness/pleasure and are not willing to make any short term sacrifices, understand that you’re doing so at the expense of your future.

This can be the case for anything from your financial health, to mental, physical, and beyond. For example, if you want to buy a new expensive product instead of buying a used one (or better yet, not buying anything at all), you have less money to save or invest. If you want to sit around and watch mindless tv, you are sacrificing time which you could be reading or working on a project. And if you want to eat fast food five days per week, you are sacrificing your wasteline and clogging you arteries with trans fats and saturated fats.

Each decision you make today affects you in the future. If you can somehow manage to align what you like doing and what is healthiest for your future self, that’s where you can really make big wins because it won’t feel like you’re sacrificing anything. It all starts with changing your habits for the better. Talk a 5-10 minute walk after every meal. Exercise for 60 minutes per day (it can be cumulative). Eat non-processed foods that consist of a variety of vegetables, lean meats, nuts, seeds, some fruits, little starch, and no extra/added sugars. Meditate, pray, or write down what you’re grateful for when you wake up. Read at least 10 minutes per day. Try to make it a game to see how little you can spend each week. Other than investing and paying for your mortgage/rent, utilities, cell phone, car/car maintenance, and groceries, do you need to spend on anything else or can you wait? The longer you can hold off or sacrifice on doing things that don’t promote long term benefits, the better off you’ll be.

Striving for more

“You’re really good where you are, but you’re way to good to stay there.” – Tom Ferry

Be happy with what you have, but always strive for more. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, for wishing for a “better” life, but remember that your life is already really good!

Try to find the positive in any situation. Don’t make the mistake thinking that you’ll be happier when you have “X” or when “Y” happens. You can (and should) be happy now, and enjoy the process of trying to get whatever else you are striving for.

The fear of making mistakes

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

When I was younger, I feared making mistakes because I thought it would make me look dumb. I never asked questions in school and figured I would just look up the solution afterwards (even though I rarely did). But what that did was put me further behind. Instead of asking a question, one that may have been on other people’s minds as well, I chose to not understand something. Talk about dumb? That’s a dumb decision!

As I grew older, my fear of asking questions has disappeared, but I still battle the fear of not making mistakes. It’s something that I may always have trouble with, but as long as I remain aware of it and try to fight against it, I will keep improving.

By the way, if you understand what I’m talking about, don’t feel bad. This is very common, especially if you have always been told that you’re good at something. For example, while I don’t know if he has ever come out and said it, I think even LeBron James experiences this too. With his mixture of attributes (height) and skill set (jumping ability, coordination, etc), I think he would have been a great candidate to win the slam dunk contest. There’s no guarantee he’d win, but he was capable of performing dunks that not many other players could imagine. But, to all NBA fans’ chagrin, he never participated in a dunk contest. Instead, he did “participate” in the Skills Challenge. I put the word participate in quotes there because if you go back and look at the Skills Challenge he was in, he looked like he was in half speed – like he wasn’t even trying. Once again, I feel fear is the culprit here. If he tried his best and lost, or if looked like he was trying his best, what would that say about his greatness? In my opinion, nothing. He would still be one of the greatest to ever play. But I think the fixed mindset of him always needing to be the perceived best got to him and his fear of making mistakes/failing led to his half-hearted performance.

That being said, everyone experiences fear. You can run away for a little while, but ultimately, you need to face your fears. Why not get it over with and face them now?

Using adversity as a positive

Adversity isn’t a stumbling block…it’s a stepping stone to success. Don’t let tough times get you down. Instead, use them to learn and take you to where you want to be!

It’s been said that there is no growth without discomfort. And there’s no doubt that facing adversity can be very uncomfortable. But if you realize that and make the most of any situation (good or bad), you will grow from it. You will always have that experience to remember what to do or what not to do, and the ramifications of your actions or inactions.

Mindset

Work on having a growth mindset, where you’re open to the possibility of changing and growing your abilities. Just because you can’t do something right now doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to do it. The only way that you know for sure that you won’t be able to do something is if you stop trying to improve yourself. The same can be said if you are already good at something. If you have a fixed mindset, you may think that you don’t have to try because you’ll always be good at that thing. But if you stop working at something because you feel your abilities are “fixed,” you will soon be surpassed by those who are working harder than you.

So how do you work on having a growth mindset? Understand that everyone has to start somewhere. Some people will naturally have more ability than others, but no matter where you start, you can always improve if you’re willing to make an effort. Realize that if you want to improve, you’re going to have to push the boundaries of your comfort and, as a result, you’ll fail often. Don’t be afraid of failure. Embrace it and use it as a stepping stone towards your eventual success. It can only truly be considered a failure if you quit afterwards. Otherwise it’s just more experience for you to learn from.