If it’s not going to matter in five years, don’t let yourself stress over it for more than five minutes. Feel your feelings. You don’t have to be a robot. But if something isn’t going to matter in the grand scheme of things, let it roll off your shoulders. Why stress out over something that has already happened and that you can’t change? Try to remedy the situation or learn from your experience/get better so that same thing doesn’t happen again.
Tag: stress
Progress, not perfection
If you won’t remember this specific event in a week (let alone in a year or at the end of your life), then stop worrying so much about it. It’s not a big deal. Don’t blow things out of proportion.
So what if you got a B (or C, D, or F) on an assignment? Does that mean that you’ll never succeed in life?
So what that you didn’t get 8 hours of sleep? Does that mean you’re going to be a zombie the next day?
So what if your kids have some chocolate or didn’t eat the most perfectly grown, organic/non-GMO food today? Does that mean that they won’t grow and their health is now in jeopardy?
The point is, we are more resilient than most people think and so are our kids (if we let them). Don’t think that everything has to be perfect, because it won’t be – and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to make it perfect. Go with the flow. Be nice. Treat others well. Do your best everyday. But be kind to yourself. Understand that the goal should be progress, not perfection.
Do you suffer from anxiety?
How many of us are anxious for no reason? I don’t consider myself an anxious person, but after some self reflection on vacation, I realized how neurotic I can be as well. We all have duties and responsibilities, especially as parents, but how much of our anxiety is serving us?
So what if you slept in? So what if your butt gets a little sandy or your shoes get wet? So what if you don’t workout for a day? You don’t always have to be doing something.
I’m always trying to focus on self improvement, but sometimes the best thing you can do is just relax. Don’t stress, don’t worry, don’t let anxiety over something that might happen in the future take over your thoughts and keep you from being present in there now. Life is good. Enjoy it.
Adding slack to your life to reduce stress
You need “slack” or a buffer in your system, your schedule, and your life. If your schedule is too tightly packed, when one event runs past it’s allotted time, it will have a domino effect – causing you extra stress and making other people wait on you. When you’re late for one event, then you’ll probably be late for the one after that, and the next one, and the next one…Plan for everything to take a little longer (giving yourself extra time, aka “slack”) and you will reduce stress/anxiety.
This concept can be applied in all areas of life – even thinking of your budget/emergency savings. Instead of stressing about money when an emergency pops up, you’ll be able to dip into your emergency fund to pay for it. Just be sure to replenish it, as another emergency will inevitably occur at some point in life.
Controlling your responses to negative stressors
Everyone feels the same emotions…fear, insecurity, heartache, hunger, tiredness, anger, joy. What separates our role models and heroes from those who we do not look up to is how they respond to those emotions.
If you want to be the best version of yourself, take a look in the mirror. How do you respond under stress? Do you take out your frustrations on others or treat them poorly? Would you want your kids to act like you do when you’re stressed?
If you want to be more like your role model(s) or to become a role model, the first step is to be aware of how you’ve seen others react under stress. Are there people you would like to emulate?
After you’ve seen the responses of others and determined which actions you deem commendable, the next step is to be aware of how you currently react under stress. What behaviors, actions, or words do you say/do that you’re proud of and what do you want to stop doing?
After taking note of what you already do, start monitoring how you’re doing from this point forward. Be strict, but forgiving with yourself. You want to start taking the right actions right now. But if/when you mess up, own your mistakes/actions, apologize if necessary, and move forward.
Cut yourself some slack, especially in the beginning, because it takes a while to form a new habit (of responding appropriately to any/every situation). But remember, if we want to be the best version of ourselves, if we want to be a role model to our kids, if we want to make others around us feel better about themselves, and if we want the world to be a nicer place, it all starts with us. We can’t control what other people think, say, or do, but we can control ourselves. It just takes practice.