success | The Caleb Barney Collection

Train your mind to be stronger than your emotions

It doesn’t matter how much you want something, if you don’t train your mind to be stronger than your emotions, you’ll constantly be taking one step forward and two steps back.

Think about wanting to get in the best physical shape of your life. First, you need to set a SMART goal. Then, you need to figure out why that goal is important to you. After that, you need to put a plan in place to achieve your goal. During the planning period, you may be doing research to complete the perfect plan (which doesn’t exist), but that should not stop you from getting started (done is better than perfect). Lastly, you need to find an accountability partner who makes sure you are actively and consistently working towards your goal.

If you let your emotions take over (especially your negative emotions), you’ll find an excuse to not do what you know you need to be doing! It feels better (at the time) to stay in your warm, comfy bed and sleep in. It feels better (at the time) to eat another serving or to have dessert or to have a bedtime snack. It feels better to sit on the couch and watch tv or scroll on Instagram. For every short-term pleasure, there is a long-term consequence. And if you really want to achieve your goals, you have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions (and just doing what feels good in the moment).

So what’s more important to you? A little extra sleep? Or getting up, keeping that promise to yourself, and striving towards your goals?

Trust me, in the end, you will feel so much better about yourself knowing that you set a difficult goal and you achieved it. You persisted through the ups and downs. It was simple, but it wasn’t easy, and not many people are willing to do what you do to get what you want.

Train your mind. If you listen to your emotions, listen to the positive ones that are pushing you towards your goals. Use those! But steel your mind. Make it so strong that your negative emotions cannot overcome you when you put your mind to something.

On struggling…words from an NBA superstar

We all will face adversity in life. It is what it is. But our attitude will help determine how we get through it. Damian Lillard, one of the NBA’s premier scoring guards has gotten off to a rough start to this season. When asked about his struggles, he said the following:

“I always look at struggles as an opportunity to show my true character. When things go great there’s a lot of praise that goes along with that. A lot of people give you a lot of credit. They speak highly of you on social media, TV. ‘Oh Dame had 60, Dame had 50.’ They speak really highly of you. But I think it says more when you’re going through something and s— is kind of hitting the fan and you’re struggling and everybody’s got something to say and to me the real ones, they can keep on trucking and keep on going and still find a way to get the job done.

“And, me personally, I love when those opportunities present themselves. Because when I am riding high and when I do get smoking hot and when I get going people are going to look at it and be like, ‘We remember when you were struggling and you didn’t shy away from it.’ I think it will be more respect for the success when they see how you handle failure and how you handle struggle.

“So, personally, I embrace that. It’s not fun. It’s not easy but it’s part of my DNA. That’s how I got to this position. I’m not angry about it. I’m frustrated with it. I do see it as a challenge and it’s one I accept and I know I’ll come out on top like I always do.”

I especially love the last part that he lays out. He embraces the struggle! It’s what has made him who he is. He doesn’t get angry about it because what’s done is done. But he does get frustrated and use it as fuel. He sees it as an obstacle to overcome, and he has the confidence in himself – the belief in himself – that he’ll get the job done.

We should all embrace failures, struggles, and setbacks this way. We shouldn’t be happy that they’re happening to us, but what is moping around going to do about it? What is getting angry or pointing the blame elsewhere going to do about it? Ultimately, it’s your responsibility. Take it and figure out your next move to try to make it better.

Don’t give up! You never know how close you are to success…

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison

Don’t give up. You may need to redirect your focus or take another approach to solving the same issue, but don’t quit. Quitting when things get tough teaches you to take the easy way out. But it is only easy at that time. Every time you quit, you are hurting yourself. You’re hurting your self-esteem, your reputation (among others), and your aspirations for a better future.

Be obsessed or be average

“Be obsessed or be average.” ⁃ Grant Cardone

Have you ever met someone who was head and shoulders better at what they did compared to others in their field? Chances are, this didn’t happen by accident. Natural ability can give you a leg up when you’re starting out, but to stand out amongst the standouts, you have to be obsessed with improving your craft.

Malcolm Gladwell touches on this with his 10,000 hour rule, where he states it takes approximately 10,000 hours of doing something to master it. You have to put in the practice and gain the experience to master something.

But it’s not just about going through the motions. You have to intentionally plan out what you’re going to do. You have to look at your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. You have to keep up with market trends and know the market so well that you can predict future trends. You have to eat, sleep, and breathe whatever it is you’re trying to be the best at in order to make it work. You need to read about it, talk about it, listen about it, connect with others who are experts, and go experience it for yourself. In short, you need to be obsessed or else you’ll end up “average.”

Facing discomfort

If you’re not good at something, stop avoiding it. Charge ahead into it!

It feels uncomfortable to be bad at something, especially when you are used to being average or above average in most things that you care about. But if you keep avoiding that which you are not good at, it will only hide your weakness for so long. Eventually that weakness will be exposed, often times in front of many people (causing even more embarrassment).

It’s best to just face your discomfort and/or your perceived weaknesses head on… Because really, why are you avoiding it if not for either fear of other peoples perceptions or your fear of being uncomfortable?