success | The Caleb Barney Collection

Focus is the key to progress, not balance

“To make progress, you must be FOCUSED, NOT BALANCED.” ⁃ Robert Kiyosaki

You can make a little progress while loving a balanced life, but to make the biggest gains, you have to focus an inordinate amount of attention on one specific goal or task. When you focus on one thing, you’ll be amazed at the strides you can make.

There is no such thing as a perfectly balanced life. Our lives are more like waves in the ocean, going back and forth. Sometimes we have a big project with a deadline to meet, so we have to put our energy in that, while other times we have the ability to focus more on our family, our health, etc.

We can try to be perfectly balanced, but will most likely frustrate you as you aim for the impossible. Instead, spend time in great focus on one aspect of life while maintaining other aspects, then ebb and flow to the next major category.

Slow down when reading

“To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.” – Edmund Burke

I used to do exactly this. In my conquest for self-improvement, I tried to consume as much information as quickly as possible. Podcasts and audiobooks on 1.5x speed, trying to read as many physical books as I could within a given time period, watching YouTube videos relevant to my field of study, etc.

But what I unintentionally missed was that, if I didn’t slow down and contemplate on what I just read, I didn’t dig deep enough to truly understand the whole idea. I understood basic concepts and surface level ideas, but couldn’t clearly articulate them. If you want to master something, you have to know it inside and out. And if you’re only going for volume/high quantity, you’re missing out on the true knowledge (quality). Dig deeper to understand more. Question what you read, don’t take it at face value. Play devil’s advocate. What would someone who supports that idea say? What would someone who disagrees with that idea say? What evidence is there to verify this idea and was that evidence cherry-picked or is it an accurate reflection of the truth?

The point here is to not rush to check another book off of your reading list. Slow down. If you’re reading to learn, then do it right the first time. Take your time, read, reflect, question, answer, discuss, and continue reading.

Getting out of your comfort zone

Most of the best things in life happen at the edges of your comfort zone. If you only want to feel comfort, you’ll be less likely to branch out/try new things, to overcome adversity, learn new skill sets, etc.

The higher degree of difficulty, the less comfortable most people are with trying to tackle that problem. If you’re willing (and able) to solve that problem, and if you can find a way to solve the problem for others too, you often are compensated (monetarily) for it. Most people want to stay in their comfort zones and are willing to trade money for comfort (paying someone else to solve their problems). There’s nothing wrong with this. We all do it, and depending on the stage of life we’re in, it may be a smarter financial decision to pay an expert/specialist to do something more efficiently so you’re not wasting your non-renewable resource (time) on something you don’t know how to do well and will end up with a worse finished product than if the expert did it in the first place.

Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.

No means no (for now)

No doesn’t mean no forever. It means no for now. It means not yet. It means that your current offer hasn’t enticed them enough or that they are not motivated enough to accept your offer. No isn’t the end of the discussion, it’s the beginning of the negotiation. If you really want to make a deal, don’t stop at no. Dig deeper and see what relatively minor concessions you could give to the other party (which may be of little value to you, but greatly valued by them) to sweeten the deal.

Empathy as a starting point for negotiation

Listening shows empathy. When people feel listened to and understood, they are more likely to work with you. You can work in tandem towards a common goal (or at least a compromise) much easier if you start out by showing that you are listening to them.

When you truly listen to somebody and they can feel you are listening to them, it’s a sign of respect. That’s why you have to start out with empathy and active listening to obtain the best results in any negotiation or sales process. It’s important to use both empathy and active listening throughout any conversation, but especially at the start, because first impressions really do count for something. Don’t dig yourself into a hole before you really get started by disrespecting the other person/party.

You have to understand what it is that the other side wants. What is the issue they want solved in order to provide the best response. What is their pain point and how we can alleviate their pain?

If you go in with the same sales pitch every single time, it may work in certain situations, but your solution may be completely wrong for them in other situations. Listen, dig deeper, and empathize with what they are feeling to show respect and to get further in negotiations.

Go into every negotiation or sales pitch with one thing in mind: How can we make this a win-win situation so both sides leave happy, nobody leaves holding a grudge over the other side, and you don’t hurt yourself in future business with that person or their friends?