Tag: success

Receiving feedback

Hearing feedback can be really tough. Oftentimes, it can take us by surprise and we get defensive about it. But we need feedback to grow. Usually, there is at least a kernel of truth in what the other person is telling us. Instead of automatically justifying why you did/said what you did, just listen. Refrain from responding until the person is done talking. But don’t do one of those, “mhmm…ok…” almost like a “hurry-up and get it over with” verbal prodding. Stay open (watch out for negative body language). Then, after the sting of hearing what you need to hear, repeat back to them (or rephrase what you heard). If you and that person are on the same page, that’s probably a good thing. Finally, take their feedback and use it to make you a better person. Even if you don’t fully agree with what they’ve said, try to make small tweaks or improvements. None of us are perfect, so we at least know that we can slightly improve.

Brene Brown’s 3 key phrases to remember when receiving feedback…

⁃ “I’m brave enough to listen.”

⁃ “There’s something valuable here. Take what works and leave the rest.”

⁃ “Feedback is the path to mastery.”

Freedom = Happiness

What most people really want (even if they don’t know it) is freedom. When you see a photo of someone standing by their brand new expensive car with their beautiful husband/wife, and the best attire, it’s not that you necessarily want that. You want the freedom that having that kind of money can buy. You want to be financially free! Freedom brings happiness. Whether it’s the freedom to choose what work you’re going to do or not do, where you want to live, or what your plans are for the day, you want to have the choice (power/freedom) to make that decision completely on your own, without any outside influence. You’ll soon find out that material possessions only buy fleeting happiness. You’ll be happy for a short period of time, but it will not last.

Random thoughts on leading, managing, business, and goals

One difference between great leaders and great managers is the ability to innovate. Being creative, progressive, and moving forward with new ideas is important for visionary leaders. But keeping the boat from rocking too much and making sure to implement the visionary’s ideas intelligently are key to great management. You need both to be successful…ideas are great, but if they are scattered all over the place and not aligned with the stated future overarching goal(s), and if they are changed before really being given time to succeed, the business will flounder.

Start out with a couple of great goals. Know why you want to achieve those things. Then figure out what milestones you need to hit along the way and what processes you need to develop/follow to make those milestones happen. After you achieve them (or when you’re 90%+ done), start thinking of adding new goals, techniques, and strategies that are natural extensions of your current goals. Don’t do a 180 degree turn and pivot to something completely unrelated where you have limited-to-no experience.

On care

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – Theodore Roosevelt

You can be very knowledgeable and “have the answers” that others are looking for, but until they know how much you care – how passionate you are about that topic, how interested you are in their well-being, how much you understand what it means to them – that’s when you win them over.

Just like in most things in life, it’s not about you. People’s first thoughts tend to default to thoughts about themselves. You can say it’s selfish, but it’s true. That’s why people tell you to be interested in others, to listen twice as much as you talk, to ask questions about them, to use the other person’s name in conversation…they want to know (or at least think) you care about them. If they believe that, you will earn their trust and then they will be more receptive to your “knowledge.”