Tag: success

The fear of losing is holding you back

People fear losing so much that they end up losing. Everyone wants to be rich, but they are so afraid of possibly losing money, that they don’t invest. They lose out on reaching their potential because they play it too safe. It’s like the saying goes, everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die. But if you don’t die, you can’t go to heaven. You are going to have ups and downs in life, you’re going to have failures and setbacks. But if you avoid risk altogether, you’re also avoid reaping the best rewards and guaranteeing that you won’t reach your full potential.

No risk = no reward.

A man who chases two rabbits catches neither

A man who chases two rabbits catches neither​
A man who chases two rabbits catches neither.

Focus on finishing one task before moving on to the next one.

In today’s ADHD world, it’s easy to get distracted by new ideas or to think you can multitask effectively, but the truth is if you are constantly chasing after two dissimilar goals, you’re unlikely to accomplish either of them.

Your level of success depends on this

You can be mildly successful by never going out of your comfort zone, never speaking up or standing out, and never really risking much. But when you don’t risk anything, you cap your upside.

The best social media influencers realize this. Many of them say provocative things to increase engagement. The greater amount of comments on their post will tell the algorithm of Facebook, Instagram, etc that this is a popular or trending topic and then shows that to more people (which, if it really is a controversial post, often leads to more engagement). It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. To gain the greatest social media success, you can’t stay small. You have to be ok with people disagreeing with you (sometimes vehemently). It’s easier, and more comfortable, to not post anything. But if you don’t say anything, it will be harder to be seen. To maximize your success in this avenue, you need to be willing to step outside your comfort zone, to speak up, to stand out, and to risk being criticized.

I really don’t like using that example because I don’t want to encourage anyone to say something they don’t believe in just to get more likes, follows, comments, recognition, etc. But I used that example because I feel like many people can understand it. If you value comfort, stay small and unrecognizable. But if you value maximum exposure, you’ll have to take the good (success) with the bad (risk of failure).

What you can’t do if you fail

Never fail due to a lack of effort. Go down swinging. If you’re not skilled enough to do something or if you’re not smart enough to grasp it, that’s a capacity issue that can be addressed. With the right coaching, determination, and attitude, you can improve on those things. But effort requires no skill, no intelligence. You either give it your all or you don’t. And if you’re not trying, you deserve to lose.

Facing your fears – incrementally vs all at once

The way I see it, there are two ways to successfully face your fears. You can gradually/incrementally introduce yourself to your fears (taking baby steps – learning more about it first, then being around it, then facing it in an unimportant situation, then facing it more regularly) OR you can dive right in and surround yourself with them. The best approach depends on how devastating the outcome could be and what your mindset is.

If there are irreversible repercussions to you failing, then you should take the gradual approach. Read about what you are going to face, talk with other people who have conquered that fear, listen to books/podcasts/YouTube videos, etc. Then just go and be around whatever you have to face. You don’t need to face it yet, but the nearer you are, the more acclimated you’ll get. Start by going once per week then increase the frequency. As you become more familiar with the event, your fear levels will likely go down.

If the stakes are low if you fail/mess up, it’s probably best to just jump right in and learn on the fly. Learning is often done best by experiencing. Then you can still read, listen, talk with others, and watch others to learn more, but now you’ll have a better understanding of what they’re going through (because you’ve already been through a similar situation). You will speed up your learning curve by doing. Just make sure you have a growth mindset going into the event. You may not be good at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish/conquer yet, but with enough practice you can/will get better.