Everyone is wired to be fearful. It is how you respond to that fear that determines your likelihood of success. Sometimes it’s best to act/be the aggressor, while other times it’s best to sit back and let the storm pass. But regardless of what is the best course of action, the number one thing to remember is to not panic. Control your emotions, logically decide what should be done, then go do it.
Tag: success
Praise the effort
We tend to simplify things in our heads, wanting to take whatever is the easiest route. We do this in many things, including looking at results. But what should be focused on instead is the effort the individual is giving to get the results.
There are two problems when only focusing on the end result…
First, if we only focus on the end result, maybe we aren’t challenging ourselves enough. For example, I should almost always win when facing an elementary student in basketball – and I’m not even good at basketball. But when you lower your standards just so you can win, it defeats the purpose of playing the game. At that point, why measure anything at all?
Second, when we focus on results only, we remove the element of luck from our environment. Annie Duke talks about this in her book Thinking in Bets. I can play a hand of poker perfectly according to the probability of what gives me the best chance at success and still lose the hand. Or, vice versa, I can play a hand incorrectly and still win. But if we’re only looking at the result, that may alter our way of thinking and cause us to play according to our emotions instead of what is mathematically the most likely way to win. It’s important to remember that we can only control our actions, not the actions of others, our environment, or “luck.”
So instead of focusing on results, the real question should be: “What did you do to maximize your potential?” It’s ok to ask our children if they won the game, got an A on the test, etc., but make sure we don’t praise the result. We need to focus all of our attention/praise on their efforts. What work did they put in to achieve those results? Did they try their best? (And remember, more is not always better. So if they were “studying” all night before a test and didn’t do well, maybe it would be better to have a shorter timeframe to study intensely and then get a good night of sleep.)
Courage
It can be very scary to ask that person out, to leave your job, to chase your dreams (or even to say them out loud). But without even attempting to do those things almost guarantees those things won’t happen. Sure, it might be more comfortable to do nothing. But without discomfort, you will never achieve your greatest goals.
My dad used to say that everyone experiences fear. They feel it too, whether they show it or not. You’re not alone. But it’s what you do with that fear that matters. Will you run from it? Or will you face it?
Don’t let fear stop you from living the life you’re meant to. Courage is the resistance to fear, not the absence of it. Be courageous. Stand up for what you believe in and take that next step towards living out your dreams.
Doing is better than saying, but delegating is better than doing.
I think of Ben Franklin’s quote above in two ways. The first is how I believe he meant for it to come out, which is being a smooth talker and having a quick wit is great, but you need to be able to actually accomplish what you say for it to mean anything. (Talk is cheap.)
The second part related to this quote is that I don’t think it matters whether you are the one who is physically doing the work or if you delegate it (using your words to convey the purpose/inspiring others to take action to accomplish the goal). That doesn’t matter – it’s about the end result. In that case, saying it well can lead to doing it well (by others).
Do you think Elon Musk is working on a space shuttle, turning a wrench on a Tesla, or doing the bulk of the engineering work to bore a tunnel under Los Angeles? Is Jeff Bezos packaging and delivering each Amazon order? They’re working on their business and focusing on the big picture to move their companies forward. It is still very important to do the other things, or else the companies would go out of business, but without growth, stagnation creeps in and other companies will eventually catch/pass them.
When starting a business, you’ll probably have to do the majority of the work yourself or as part of a small team. That’s probably a good idea because it allows you to have a better understanding of best practices, what not to do, etc. But you will eventually reach capacity (there’s only one of you and so many hours in a day). At that point (or, hopefully, before you reach capacity) you need to think of hiring others to help you. You can then delegate the work that doesn’t need to be done by you anymore. The end result is the same (it gets done), but you get to focus more on the big picture/expanding your business. If you don’t do this, and you are always the one doing the work, the only difference between you and an employee is that you own your job. You’re not a business yet. Because if you get hurt, sick, or want to take a vacation, guess who’s not making money? You.
Have at least a basic understanding of how to do things well, but it is equally important to learn how to say things well, as that is what will eventually free you from the “rat race.”
A rough draft of my core values
Defining the core values for my life/business…
1. Always try your best, but have fun while doing it. Life is too short to not have fun. You should enjoy what you do, but that doesn’t mean you should just “coast.” Work hard, play hard. Try your best to become the best. How can you become an expert in whatever it is you do? You may not have the most natural talent, but that’s out of your control. You can always control your effort and your attitude.
2. Put people over profit. If you value making the right decision/doing what’s best for others, people will like and trust you, leading to repeat business or referrals. Treat people like people and the profits will come. You may take a hit in the short-term, but in the long run you will be better off for it.
3. Be humbly confident. You need to have confidence in yourself or else how can you expect others to have confidence in you? You need to believe that you can figure everything out – even if it means asking for help. But the key is to be confident without being arrogant. Be humble. You don’t need to brag to everyone about how great you are. Let your actions do the talking. Stand out straight, keep your head up, look people in the eyes, walk with purpose, and speak clearly, succinctly, and loudly.
4. Be a dreamer AND a doer. You should have big dreams/goals. People won’t understand it. They’ll say it’s not realistic. And they’re right, if you only dream, but don’t take action. Have big dreams, set a plan, then take action immediately. What are you doing today that is bringing you closer to your goals/dreams/ambitions?
5. Perseverance. If you’re setting worthy goals, you will often stumble on your way towards success. But you have to keep going. Don’t let little setbacks affect you. You’ll get through this hardship faster by continuing to move/take action.