Tag: success

Jealousy, privilege, and comparison

Before you make a jealous statement, “they’re so lucky that ____” or “it must be easy because of ____”, truly think to yourself the amount of work that that individual put in to get to where they are. There really are not many “overnight successes.”

And for those who inherited wealth or were put in a better position to start than you? Consider yourself the lucky one. You have gone through trials and tribulations that they have not, and it has forged you into the person you are today.

There will always be someone better off than you just like there will always be others worse off than you, yet you don’t consider yourself privileged. Take a step back and look in the mirror. If you’re reading this on a computer, how “lucky” are you? If you live in the United States, how lucky are you? If you have your eyesight and can hear, how lucky are you? Do you have four limbs? How lucky are you? People tend to downplay the “luck” that played a role in how they got to where they are today, yet they emphasize it in others’ success.

“I’m a self-made person” you say. But, in reality, everyone has had help along the way. Some have had more help than others. But you’ve had more help than plenty of others as well. Remember that.

Finally, stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t matter where they are or where they’re going. You can’t control that. But you can influence the direction of your life by the decisions you make each and every day. Work to get 1% better every single day and you’ll be amazed by the results in 1 year, 10 years, and beyond.

Giving an inch and taking a mile

There’s a common phrase which says, “give the man an inch and he’ll take a mile.” When you think about it, you can probably relate to this happening to you at some point. You tried to be nice, whether it was helping someone out by literally giving them something or maybe you “let them off the hook” when they didn’t do something, and next thing you know, they’re asking/taking more than you agreed to.

Well, don’t be mad at that metaphorical man because, guess what? You are that person too! I was thinking about this in regards to my own workouts, eating habits, and other self-improvement actions. I get up really early (I’m usually up by 3:15 a.m.) so I can get my workout in, read, write this blog, and get some real estate-related work done before anyone else in the house is up and moving. Sometimes my alarm clock goes off and I just want to sleep in. What’s the harm in missing one day of working out, right? That line of thinking (giving myself an inch) can lead to a slippery slope (taking a mile). One missed workout, just like one cheat day, one binge-watching session, one of anything in which you “treat yourself” can (and often does) lead to another. It feels good. It’s easier and more convenient in the short-term. But what’s best for short-term is often in conflict with what’s best for the long-term.

Whenever you feel like you “deserve” something, be on guard. That’s the most dangerous time! Keep putting in the hard work. It will be worth it in the long-run. Otherwise the habits you need most become like the stereotypical New Years resolution…forgotten after 45 days. Don’t get caught in the cycle of working hard for a month, and just when you are starting to make progress, stopping “temporarily” to give yourself a break. You’ll find that stopping feels good and you either never fully commit like you initially were or you never get started again.

We all want to take a mile when we give ourselves an inch. The key is to resist the temptation to take that given inch in the first place.

How to think about diet and exercise

For diet and exercise, don’t stress out if you don’t get everything you want done in a single day. Think about it in big picture terms. No single day is going to make or break you. It’s the accumulation of making the right decisions (good habits) that will get you to where you want to go.

When tracking what micronutrients you want to consume or what muscle groups you want to target, aim for a weekly average. Yes, you will need to break that down into what it equates to per day, but as long as you fit it in throughout the course of the week and you hit your weekly goals consistently, you should be ok.

Do what is manageable/sustainable for you and forgive yourself when you mess up. Instead of beating yourself up when missing a goal, get back on track as quickly as possible (with the next thing you eat or your next workout). Reduce barriers to what you want to achieve, develop good habits, and repeat.

Voluntary hardship

Do hard things daily. Challenge your body by working out. Challenge your mind by reading and writing. Challenge your beliefs by being receptive to ideas from others who don’t have the same opinions as you. Take on that difficult project at work. Say no to eating out today and make something from a new recipe instead.

Experience voluntary hardship. It makes actual hardships easier and it puts life into perspective. Life is good. We just fail to properly appreciate it.

Small efforts repeated daily

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” - Robert Collier​
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier

When many people think of success, the part that often gets overlooked is the consistent, focused effort applied by the successful person. They think if I just do this ONE THING, I will achieve my goal. But that’s only part of the equation. Sure, you should probably focus your efforts on the most important actionable step, but you’re probably going to have to chip away at that one thing for a very long time to get where you want to be. It’s a long, slow, boring process. You have to enjoy what you’re doing, have a bigger “why” (a reason to push through difficulties), and a lot of grit in order to keep going when you aren’t seeing progress as quickly as you would like.

Two quick notes:

1) Make sure you take the time to really give your focused efforts a chance to pay dividends. If you keep bouncing around, switching from one idea to another (like a fad diet), you’re never going to see the results you want.

2) At the same time, be cognizant of if the efforts you’re making are really what you should be focusing on – are they going to make the biggest impact? Do you need to modify what you’re doing to optimize results? Do not scrap everything you’re doing, but tweak one little part at a time. It’s like an elimination diet. You eliminate one item at a time until you can pinpoint where the problem is. If you eliminate/change everything, you won’t know what caused the results.