Tag: success

Success, happiness, and the life you want for yourself

What does success mean to you? For the longest time, I thought it was being great at your job, making a lot of money, winning (even in competitions you didn’t realize you were/are in). But none of that matters without happiness. If you are able to do those three things, but you’re not happy or those who matter most to you aren’t happy, then what’s the point? Granted, in order to feel happy, you need to feel useful. But you can be useful by doing other things – by helping around the house, by making others feel good when they’re around you, by having a good balance of achieving goals but still relaxing with friends and family…not everything needs to be about hitting goals. If that’s your life, you’ll eventually discover that “winning” something only brings temporary happiness and it never loves you back. Take care of those around you, try to achieve balance in your life, and work at being happier each day. Because, if I have to choose money or happiness, I’d choose happiness.

Happiness EQUALS success.

Success does not necessarily EQUAL happiness.

Ability

There is natural ability (what you’re capable with very little training) and there is learned ability (effort that you put in to increase your overall ceiling for achievement). Don’t rely too much on natural ability. This can lead to overconfidence and a lackadaisical approach to learning, growing, or improving. Don’t discredit yourself thinking that you don’t have much natural ability either. You are more capable than you believe. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re less likely to step out of your comfort zone and try to tackle new challenges that can help you grow.

Being a boss? Or being a leader

Gary Vaynerchuk’s illustration of the difference between being a “boss” and being a leader. ​
Gary Vaynerchuk’s illustration of the difference between being a “boss” and being a leader.

You can be a natural leader, where you inspire others to do their best and help the team reach its goals, without being in a leadership position. You can lead with quiet confidence or be outgoing. There are many styles of leadership, and some styles work better depending on the circumstances. For example, you can have a great wartime leader, but in times of peace, that person’s words or actions may not resonate with those whom they are leading. Or you can have a terrific peacetime leader, but when times get tough, their voices may be too soft to motivate others to believe in the cause.

Regardless of the type of leader you are (or you follow), the best leaders typically find ways to help you grow. They don’t do the work for you, but they help by asking you the right questions and letting you find your way.

Bosses, on the other hand, can be leaders or they can be tyrants. Bosses can still get things done over threat of power or anger, but they don’t win any loyalty from their subordinates. In fact, instead of people going above and beyond, they will often only do the bare minimum for a boss. Other than the intrinsically motivated optimist, why should anyone bust their butt for someone who is always the first to blame others when things go wrong, who takes credit when things go right, and who doesn’t treat their employees with respect?

If you are fortunate enough to be promoted, make sure you work to be the best leader you can be and don’t just be another “boss.”

How to think about goals…

For any goal you have, you need to think of four things. They are as follows:

1. What is the main goal you have in mind? (What is the end result you are looking to achieve?) Start off thinking big, then we can break this down into more manageable goals later.

2. What obstacle is in the way – what is preventing you from achieving that goal? (Hint: There is always a barrier to something you want, otherwise you/others would already have it. If you don’t know what it is yet, guess…can you anticipate what may get in your way?)

3. What is your plan to overcome the obstacle? What do you need – time, money, experience, help from someone else, etc.? How do you go about getting those things? What actions do you need to take to set you up for immediate success vs long-term success?

4. What will the result be by you taking/not taking specific action? Will you reach your goals or fall short? If you fall short, that’s ok. Just realize that you either didn’t take the right actions (you need to change your strategy) OR you didn’t take enough action (try doubling your efforts if you believe you were on the right track).