Tag: success

Leadership and making mistakes…

Give people permission to make mistakes and the obligation to learn from them. ​
Give people permission to make mistakes and the obligation to learn from them.

We all make mistakes – always have and always will. Think back to a time when you were young and impressionable, when you were inexperienced at something…when you wade a mistake, did your teacher/mentor/parent berate you for making a mistake? If they did (and you consistently received this negative feedback), you may still carry some of that baggage with you today. You might be too scared to take any chances at all, for fear of “messing up.” But if you never try anything new because you might make a mistake, you’ll severely limit your growth. You are capable of so much, but you will often have to try and fail many things before building off of those experiences.

If you’re in a position of “power,” whether that’s being an employer, boss, manager, parent, mentor, role model, teacher, coach, etc., make sure you let those around you know that it’s ok to make mistakes! They shouldn’t be happy that they made a mistake and should always try to learn and grow from their mistakes, but despite their best intentions, sometimes they still will slip up. (We all do.)

Make sure you’re creating an environment that knows people have permission to make mistakes, but the obligation to learn from them.

Helicopter and lawnmower parents – STOP! You’re hurting your children!

Life is like a fight. In the beginning, we’re wearing one of those fat sumo suits where if we make a mistake or get knocked on our butt, it won’t hurt much.

As we progress through life, we slowly start increasing in levels of difficulty, risk, and pain. The mistakes we make run the risk of being more consequential to our lives. So after the sumo suit, maybe we are wearing headgear, training gloves, kneepads, etc. And when we get into junior high or high school, maybe we’re just wearing boxing gear. By the time we graduate college, we are now preparing for a world of bareknuckle boxing.

There will always be difficulties in life, but for the parents who try to clear a path and not let their kids ever fall or get hurt, they are actually doing them a disservice. Because when their kids get out into the real world and have to face other bareknuckle boxers, but they haven’t made it past their sumo suit training, they are going to be in a world of pain and not know what to do with it.

We need to build up our pain tolerance (and our children’s pain tolerance) by failing early and failing often. Life is not meant to be all rainbows and butterflies. We’re not only going to have sunny days. We need to encounter the dark days and know that we’ll make it through. It will help us overcome the challenges that inevitably come with living.

Think about that when you’re parenting. It sucks to watch your kid experience any sort of pain, whether that’s physical or emotional. But your job as a parent isn’t to make sure they never experience pain, it’s to make sure that they know how to respond to it and come back stronger.

Two important factors for success

In my mind, there are two prerequisites for success: hard work and resilience. If you have those two qualities, you can succeed in nearly anything in life. Obviously there can be limiting factors defined by your physical or mental capacity, but many things can be trained/taught to at least get you to an above average level. You just need to have the proper mindset going into the activity.

Searching for peace? Then do this!

If you want peace and tranquillity, focus on saying “no” to more things and doing less. Be selective with what you give your time, energy, and money to. Focus on what’s essential. Ask yourself: what makes the most positive impact on your life from a mental, social/relational, spiritual, financial, and physical standpoint? How can you keep doing those things (or if you’re not doing enough of those, how can you do it more often)?

On the flip side, what are the biggest/most negative stressors in your life? What are things that need to be done, but maybe not by you or not right now? How can you eliminate or minimize those?

Lastly, stop feeling like you’re obligated to say yes to everything. If it excites you and is good for you, say yes! If it needs to be done by you, even if it doesn’t excite you, say yes. But if it doesn’t, you can just as easily decide to say no if that’s what you really want to do.