Tag: taking action

Self-improvement

Whether things are going well or going poorly, reflect as to what you could have done differently and how that might have improved your situation.

You can always improve. It’s up to you to decide how much you want to put into something and if it’s worth the effort, time, energy, money, etc.

Whatever your decision is, it’s not necessarily right for everyone. It just has to be right for you. Your situation is different from theirs. Don’t judge how others live their lives – just focus on what you can do to improve yours.

Discipline equals freedom

Jocko Willink (former Navy Seal Lieutenant Commander) says, “Discipline equals freedom.” It seems counterintuitive, but if you think about it, it’s really not. Discipline will bring you success, which will give you freedom from the rat race of life. It’s the great separator between you and most other people. If you are able to be disciplined, you are able to do the hard things when you don’t want to. Most people will choose the easy route, but not you.

Because of your discipline, you are able to get up early, to challenge your mind, to get a good workout in, to cook healthy meals, to save more money, to be a better parent, to be a better employee/employer. Because of your discipline, you can set a goal and achieve it. You can accomplish so much more when you are disciplined, which will actually free your future self (as opposed to making decisions in the present day that ultimately enslaves your future self to working a job you don’t like for a paycheck).

Are you disciplined? You can be if you want to be. But you have to remain focused. You have to believe in yourself and you have change what you tell yourself. If you say that you’re not disciplined, you won’t be. Identify yourself as someone who does hard things and you will become that person.

Responding to what happens to us

There is a great quote by Charles Swindoll in which he says, “life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.” The numbers are made up, but that’s not the point. The point is that we can’t control the world around us, but we can control our actions/reactions to life events. Trying to control what other people say, do, or think is a waste of energy. Trying to control a situation that is out of your hands or dealing with an event that might or might not happen in the future isn’t going to help. Don’t let the surrounding events dictate your life.

For past events, accept that what has happened has already happened. You can’t change the past, no matter how hard you want to. If it’s something that you did wrong, you can’t take back what you did. But you can apologize and make sure that you don’t do it again. If it was someone who wronged you, you can choose to forgive them or not. I’d choose to forgive though, because why carry around the negative feelings? It probably doesn’t affect the other person the way that you’re letting it affect you. You’re giving them power over you even after they have wronged you.

For events happening right now, you can only act with what information you have at hand. Do what you think is right, what feels right, and try not to live with any regrets. You won’t do things perfectly. And in the future you might chalk it up to being young and dumb, but that’s ok. Grow from your experiences. If you honestly believe that you’re doing what’s best (and trying to be empathetic if your actions will affect others), you’re more likely to be ok with your current decisions later in life.

For future events, develop plans. I will do Plan A if X happens and I will do Plan B if Y happens, etc etc. These should be general plans because nothing will ever happen exactly as you lay it out in your plan. But if you have a general idea of what you’ll do if certain things happen, you’re more likely to respond in a more productive way to the future circumstances because you’ve at least given it a little thought. You never know what the future will bring, but once again, life is only 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.

Ultimately, we are more responsible for the outcome of our lives than we tend to believe. Sometimes it feels like things are happening “to us” instead of “for us,” but the actions we take/don’t take often will have a far greater impact on our lives than the events surrounding us. Don’t be the victim in your life story. Be the victor. Conquer life’s challenges and keep working to be the solution as the world presents more problems to you.

Being true to yourself

I can’t change anyone’s mind. You can’t either. We can’t force others to change their thoughts or behaviors. We can only hope to influence these things with our words and our actions – by doing what we feel is right.

Don’t bury your head in the sand and hope that a problem goes away. Talk about it. Be open. Be vulnerable.

A lot of people don’t speak up because they fear they will lose their job, lose some of their social standing, maybe reduce their status among their peers… But really, what’s the worst that can happen? If you are punished when you stand up for something you believe in, it will be worth it. You may get some backlash from a select few, but you’ll get respect from others, and most importantly you can keep respect for yourself.

In the end, hopefully you’ll realize that chasing attention and admiration from others is a futile game. You have to work on keeping your dignity and respecting yourself. If you do that, you’ll live a good life.

Doing the right thing, always

You build resilience by encountering and overcoming difficult situations. You build character by the choices you make when the going gets tough.

It is easy to do the right thing in times of peace. But when you’re being challenged? That’s when you need to step up.

Think about the long-term ramifications of your decision and if you will be proud of what you’re about to say or do. The same can be said of your inaction as well. Will you be able to look back and be proud by not doing something?

Hindsight is 20-20. We all wish we could have said something or done something different at some point in our lives. Try not to make today one of those days.