Tag: the obstacle is the way

Action —> Competence —> Confidence —> Success

Taking action will help increase your competence, which will give you more confidence. The more confident you are, the more likely others will be drawn to you, increasing your likelihood of success.

If you want to be successful in anything, it all starts with taking action. Whatever you are afraid of, that’s probably what you need to do. Charge towards your fears or what is difficult for you. Chances are, it’s difficult for others as well, and when you’re willing to do what others aren’t, you’ll see results that they won’t get. Take action. Ryan Holiday paraphrases a famous Marcus Aurelius quote (shown below) with the title of his best-selling book, “The obstacle is the way.”

The obstacle is the way
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius

If you’re afraid of prospecting for new clients, that’s probably because you are uncomfortable doing it and you need to do it. You have to take action to actually get better at it. The more you practice something, the more competent you’ll become, and the more competent you become, the more confidence you will earn.

It will be difficult to make the decision to deliberately put yourself in a position where you might fail, but you must do this. It is the only way to get better quickly. You can read or talk with others who have done it before you all you want, but eventually YOU need to take action. The sooner you realize this and start doing it, the quicker you can achieve your dreams.

Personal responsibility

“Doctors won’t make you healthy. Nutritionists won’t make you slim. Teachers won’t make you smart. Gurus won’t make you calm. Mentors won’t make you rich. Trainers won’t make you fit. Ultimately, you have to take responsibility. Save yourself.” – Naval Ravikandt

We are responsible for how our lives turn out. It’s easy to blame someone else when things go wrong. It’s also easy to think that someone else can “save” us from our own problems. But we need to be the hero of our own stories. Someone can help us, they can be our “guide,” but we must choose to be the hero.

Being the hero doesn’t mean that nothing bad will happen to us, but if we keep pushing past the obstacles, we can overcome them. It’s up to you to make a choice every day. Are you going to wait for someone to come and save you? Or will you do what needs to be done to save yourself? If you want to live your best life, you must take ownership of it.

The fear of making mistakes

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

When I was younger, I feared making mistakes because I thought it would make me look dumb. I never asked questions in school and figured I would just look up the solution afterwards (even though I rarely did). But what that did was put me further behind. Instead of asking a question, one that may have been on other people’s minds as well, I chose to not understand something. Talk about dumb? That’s a dumb decision!

As I grew older, my fear of asking questions has disappeared, but I still battle the fear of not making mistakes. It’s something that I may always have trouble with, but as long as I remain aware of it and try to fight against it, I will keep improving.

By the way, if you understand what I’m talking about, don’t feel bad. This is very common, especially if you have always been told that you’re good at something. For example, while I don’t know if he has ever come out and said it, I think even LeBron James experiences this too. With his mixture of attributes (height) and skill set (jumping ability, coordination, etc), I think he would have been a great candidate to win the slam dunk contest. There’s no guarantee he’d win, but he was capable of performing dunks that not many other players could imagine. But, to all NBA fans’ chagrin, he never participated in a dunk contest. Instead, he did “participate” in the Skills Challenge. I put the word participate in quotes there because if you go back and look at the Skills Challenge he was in, he looked like he was in half speed – like he wasn’t even trying. Once again, I feel fear is the culprit here. If he tried his best and lost, or if looked like he was trying his best, what would that say about his greatness? In my opinion, nothing. He would still be one of the greatest to ever play. But I think the fixed mindset of him always needing to be the perceived best got to him and his fear of making mistakes/failing led to his half-hearted performance.

That being said, everyone experiences fear. You can run away for a little while, but ultimately, you need to face your fears. Why not get it over with and face them now?

Using adversity as a positive

Adversity isn’t a stumbling block…it’s a stepping stone to success. Don’t let tough times get you down. Instead, use them to learn and take you to where you want to be!

It’s been said that there is no growth without discomfort. And there’s no doubt that facing adversity can be very uncomfortable. But if you realize that and make the most of any situation (good or bad), you will grow from it. You will always have that experience to remember what to do or what not to do, and the ramifications of your actions or inactions.

Adversity viewed as a good thing

From a devotional I recently read:

“As a parent, it’s difficult to see our children struggle. We’d prefer to shield them from the trials of life. So intentionally placing our children in the path of mockery, persecution, and self-denial does not come naturally. But we need to be reminded of James’ words that trials should be a cause for rejoicing because they produce character and make us into mature people who lack nothing (James 1:2–4).”

My thoughts:

This is similar to what Marcus Aurelius says regarding obstacles and how we need to lean into them. Embrace the challenge. It may be difficult to face at first, but eventually we will see that we become better, more complete people by facing adversity. Instead of finding a way to avoid the obstacle, the obstacle becomes the way. And we will be all the better for it.