Tag: thoughts

Phrases to cut out of your life

1) “You always/you never”…Usually, when we use this phrase, we’re blaming someone for something. You always do this thing wrong. You never do this thing right…when in reality, that’s just not true. They may do something that irritates you, but you need to do a better job of explaining to them why it upsets you. If they don’t change (and even if they do, they’ll still likely forget from time to time), do your best to let it go. You’ve said your piece. You can’t force someone to do something.

2) “Why do you/why are you”…I’m only referring to using this in an accusatory tone of voice. “Why are you ___?” instantly puts whomever you’re questioning in a defensive position (much like the “you always/never phrase above). Instead, try to ask them how they’re feeling, if anything is wrong, what their thought process was that caused them to feel/act that way, etc.

3) “I have to”…You technically don’t have to do anything. You get to do that thing. Work on being more grateful for the opportunity to do it. You get to go to work today – to earn a living, to accomplish a task, to pay for food/water/shelter, etc. Change your attitude.

4) “I can’t”…Your mind is a powerful thing. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll believe it. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So while you may be unable to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always be able to not do it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask yourself “how can I?”

5) “That’s impossible”…See the paragraph above for “I can’t.” There are some things that don’t seem possible, but if someone else has achieved it, you already know that it is possible. Plus, how many times has the human race done something that most people thought was impossible (like sailing around the world, flying in an airplane, going to space, etc)?

6) “You make me”…Once again, this is a very accusatory statement and will likely escalate the argument rather than diffuse it. But you should also remember that you have to take responsibility for how you feel. If someone “makes you mad,” do you not have any control over your own emotions? If not, you can be easily manipulated by anyone who knows how to push your buttons. Change your attitude/perspective.

Think about these things everyday

Think about these things everyday.

1. Have I made strides towards my goals today? Did I help or hurt myself physically, mentally, spiritually, relationally, vocationally, and financially?

2. After my encounters with others, do I generally make them feel better about themselves?

3. Did I live with integrity today? Did I do the right things, say the right things, and act according to my values?

It’s your choice

What you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become.
“Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become.” – Heraclitus

What you think about and what you do on a daily basis is who you become.

Are you thinking positive thoughts or negative ones?

Are you surrounded by optimistic people who lift others up or people who gossip and only talk about what’s wrong in their life?

Do you walk around with a smile on your face or do you mope around like Eeyore?

You get to choose who you become by controlling your thoughts, words, and actions. You can’t change what you’ve done in the past, but you can make a decision to do better today and, more specifically, start with your next action. Live intentionally and you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish/who you can become.

Don’t be the reason you don’t achieve your dreams

We all will fail in life and the secret for many people’s success is that they’re willing to fail more often and more quickly than those afraid of failure. They understand that failing is a natural precursor to success. You have to try new things – different things – if you want to improve your life. Sometimes, you’ll have great intuition and choose the right action to propel you towards your goals. Sometimes you’ll get lucky. But almost always, if you fail to take action (or if you do the same thing over and over and expect a different result), you’re going to be stuck in the same place. So even though it may not look like you’ve failed from the outside looking in, is it true? Sure, you don’t have one moment to point to where something didn’t work out. But isn’t the end result of not achieving your dreams a bigger failure than swinging for the fences and occasionally striking out?

There are a lot of reasons why people don’t achieve their dreams, many of which are outside of our control. We can accept that because if we try to control everything (even things we have no power over), we will be fighting a losing battle. But what we can do is control our thoughts, words, actions, and attitude. We decide what we read, who we listen to, who we hang out with, and how we talk to ourselves. We decide what words to say (I can, I will, how can I?) and what words to not say (I can’t, I don’t know how, I give up). We decide whether we want to get up each morning when we say we will or whether we hit the snooze button and sleep in, or whether we follow through with what we said we would do. Are we generally happy and not complaining? Are we putting out positive vibes where others want to be around us or are we so negative that others actually feel worse after hanging out with us?

Don’t be the reason why you don’t achieve your dreams. Live intentionally. Plan your next steps and follow through with them. Think big and act big. You need to take enough action and occasionally swing for the fences instead of always playing it safe. If you don’t ever reach your lofty goals, that’s fine. But when you think back, have no regrets over why you didn’t achieve it. Give it your all, do it ethically and in a way that is true to you, and go from there.

On disagreements

Speak your mind. Don’t be afraid to disagree, but know the difference between healthy disagreement/debate and an argument. Don’t call people names or lose your temper when debating. And as you’re stating your opinion, keep one thing in mind – you’re not that smart.

You won’t always be right and you shouldn’t always have an answer to everything. It’s ok to say, “I don’t know.”

Do not cling to an opinion and be afraid to change it – keep an open mind. If you gain more information on a subject, whether by collecting it yourself or being told new info from someone else, it should either be adding to your argument or breaking it down. Either way, the balance should be shifting one way or the other.