Tag: tips

“Get to” versus “have to”

You don’t “have to” do something. You “get to” do it. It is a privilege that you are able to take care of whatever task you are assigned with doing. There are many people out there less fortunate than you are. So your 3-month old is having trouble sleeping at night, crying, and keeping you awake? Well, you are blessed with the opportunity to console him/her. There are plenty of people in the world who desperately want children and, for whatever reason, are unable to have them. You had a fight with your parents? Some people have lost their parents prematurely.

Think about the big picture. Why stress over something so small like “having” to do something? Will this affect you next week? What about next year? Will you even remember this event in 10 years? Make the most of life. Enjoy it. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

On waiting…

We all should practice the art of waiting more. We have become so used to this “microwave world,” where we can have nearly anything we want instantaneously.

Don’t want to sit through commercials? Hit skip ads on YouTube.

Can’t find anything good on tv? Go to your favorite streaming service.

Bored? Scroll mindlessly on social media.

The list goes on and on. It’s even that easy to buy something we want. Don’t get me wrong, I love Amazon because it’s so convenient, but that’s their business model (and they’re very good at it). They make it so convenient that you don’t think twice about buying an item you literally just discovered.

But we would be better served in the long run if we waited to get that “thing.” Try waiting for 48 hours before you buy it. Would you still want it? If you think you still want it, go to the store to buy it. Is it worth the inconvenience of you getting your shoes on, driving into town, waiting in line, and then paying for it? And what if you only allowed yourself to pay in cash? That way, if you don’t have the money right then and there (both in your bank account and physically, in your hand), you can’t buy it on credit. It feels different when you hand over some money and get less in return (as opposed to handing plastic over and getting the same piece of plastic returned to you). Psychologically, it feels more painful, even though you’re paying the same amount for the same item. While I like to optimize every aspect of my life (working on efficiency and convenience), it is important to remember we should focus on effectiveness over efficiency. Just because something is easy doesn’t make it better…

And if you can teach yourself to not always get what you want, when you want it, you will be better off in the long run. Better off financially (not spending money), mentally (building up a resiliency so when things don’t go your way, you’ll be able to cope better), and possibly better off spiritually (giving you more time/money to focus on loved ones and the environment around you, instead of focusing on material objects to eventually go in the trash).

So, how long can you wait before you get that next “must have” item? Don’t let lifestyle creep take over. Don’t let your inner child take over (“I need this toy now!”)…Practice patience. Practice waiting. Practice being fiscally responsible. You will be better off for it.

Pride vs ego

Don’t confuse pride with ego. They are very similar in many respects, but the difference is pride is used in a way to make you perform better, whereas ego is often something that hinders performance.

For example, with pride you hold certain standards for yourself and you want to live up to them. What you have accomplished or overcome in the past is a result of a mixture of work ethic, attitude, specific intelligence, talent, and luck. It is a non-malicious, self-centered vantage point. You take pride in doing things a certain way because others can expect good results when they come to you. If you are on a team and others do not have the same values are you, it can leave you frustrated because you feel your name (and the results that come with it) may be tarnished if you don’t live up to the hype. Pride can get in your way, but for the most part it is good to have a sense of pride in what you do and how you do it.

With ego, you are more concerned with your reputation than you care about what you do or how you do it. You view yourself as someone of importance and feel a sense of deserved respect. When ego gets in the way, it’s because you believe yourself and your opinions matter more than others – everything you do is right and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. Instead of being able to take criticism or compromise on issues, ego can cause you to dig deeper and take a stand. Ego doesn’t let you see the other person’s point of view.

Don’t let ego get in your way. If you disagree with someone, try to detach from the situation and understand where they are coming from. Why are they acting the way they are? Even if you end up disagreeing after you’ve heard them out, take the time to really listen to them, to make them feel understood, and talk with them. Don’t yell at them, try to silence/intimidate them, or wait for your turn to make a point/talk at them. The world needs to calm down. The more compassionate we are, the better off we will be.

(P.S. Compassion doesn’t mean “giving in” to an opposing viewpoint…listening is compassionate. And if you still disagree, disagree respectfully and treat them how you would want to be treated.)

Consumption

Consume less, save more. This will help not only with your financial success but with your happiness and with helping to protect the earth.

Instead of mindlessly spending money on things that sometimes bring fleeting happiness, take some time to think about what you’re buying and why you’re buying it. Get rid of subscriptions if you don’t use them. Get out of habit spending and avoid lifestyle creep when you can. This will help you financially, but it will also allow you to enjoy things more as they come into your life. Your life will be less cluttered and, therefore, allow you to see clearly. And when you have more money in your bank account, you can spend money on things you’re actually excited about or give money to charities/causes you believe in. Lastly, if you buy less products/live a minimalist lifestyle, you’ll contribute less to the wasting of resources and the increased pollution of the earth.

Dressing appropriately

Dress to impress. You decide what that means…just keep in mind that first impressions count. Keep the setting in mind with where you are going/what you are doing. If you have any doubt in your mind between what you should wear, choose the “fancier” of the two options. I’d rather be overdressed for an occasion than underdressed (trust me, I’ve done both).