Telling the truth

One rule that I live by is to tell the truth as often as possible. I’ve told the truth even when it was in my best interest not to. The reason I do it is three-fold…

First, I tell the truth because it’s the right thing to do. To me, it just doesn’t sit right in my soul to lie to someone else, especially for something important. I’ve told “white lies” many times before, but they usually make me want to come out and say what I really mean. Every time I lie, the other person may not know, but I do. And I don’t want that to chip away at my integrity and how I view myself. To lie because it’s easy is a coward’s way out.

Second, I tell the truth because the truth is likely to come out anyways and I want to maintain my integrity in the eyes of others. Part of the first reason I tell the truth is to maintain how I view myself, but as much as I specifically don’t care how random people view me, I do want people to generally view me as someone who is honest. If I keep telling lies and it turns out that the other person found out I lied, I begin to lose credibility. It takes a lot more effort to regain their trust once you’ve lost it.

Third, I tell the truth because it takes less energy to do so. Have you ever been caught in a web of lies? You have to keep fabricating a story for it to “make sense.” Then, when retelling the story, you have to try to stay consistent with what you’ve already said. How can you keep track of it all when it’s all made up? It takes less energy to just tell the truth. If there are consequences, so be it. Get those out of the way. Apologize if necessary. But I’d rather rip the band-aid off by telling the truth rather than prolong the story (and have the anxiety of wondering when you’re going to get caught/be found out).

The truth hurts sometimes. It sucks. But I’d rather know the truth and do something about it than be told a lie and think everything was ok. If you feel the same way, why would you treat anyone else so poorly by lying to them?

The relationship between courage and vulnerability

To be vulnerable is to be courageous and to be courageous is to be vulnerable. Doing something difficult when there is an easier choice inherently makes it a courageous act. Whether it is opening up about your life, telling somebody a hard truth, or defending someone else where you might get physically or emotionally hurt, there are different types of vulnerabilities, but they all require courage. How can you practice being courageous today?

To be envied or to be admired?

Tough question of the day…Would you rather live a life that is envied or a life that is admired? There are subtle differences, and partly it is in the eyes of the beholder (each of us wants different things and admire different characteristics in others), but it can be drastically different.

Living a life of envy usually means that you’re living the good life. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing amoral with that. And it’s harder than a lot of people think. For this, think of your favorite actor or actress, the biggest celebrity or most popular celebrity you know, or just someone who you view as successful (whatever that means to you). They seem to “have it all.” But, remember, it probably took that person a lot of hard work, dedication, and years of “rising through the ranks” to become the person you see today. And even still, there are responsibilities they may have that we never have to deal with (having crazy fans or paparazzi stalk them, always needing to be on their best behavior or else having anything they do/say that is wrong be publicized, etc). But, for the most part, now that they’ve made it, more doors are open for them and they have more opportunities.

Having a life that is admired can be similar, but much more difficult. Think of someone like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., or any other great leader who has been through many trials and tribulations. Maybe they are standing up for present-day injustices. They are facing a lot of resilience from others and on the receiving end of a lot of hate for what they are doing. This takes courage, resilience, and can be a lonely place to be. Over time, they may be viewed as a great person and someone who should be admired. But often times, they don’t really get to feel that admiration and respect while they’re alive. Often times, it comes posthumously. That being said, their actions can help change the world and better the future of countless lives.

I’m not saying one is better than the other. They are both tough, but the latter requires some serious intestinal fortitude.

So…which would you choose?